This week is Mental Health Awareness Week at HC Western Ontario. Join the conversation with #HCWesternTalks.
When dealing with mental health struggles, its easy to feel as though you are being carried away. Swept away by insecurities, doubts, anxious thoughts. Its easy for these feelings to be all – consuming, and they may feel as though they are slowly dragging you away from the rest of your life – your friends, family, schooling, and most importantly – your happiness. That is why I am thankful for my rock, my person who grounds me, and is able to hold me in my place, and not allow for all of my problems to carry me away from the things that matter most to me.
I am thankful for my rock on the nights where I can’t sleep. Where I lie awake in bed, and as unnerving thoughts continue to creep over me, making it harder and harder to breathe, my rock is the one who will selflessly lie awake with me, doing anything in their power to distract me from my anxiety and turn me back into the version of myself that I like more.
Roy Craft, a poet, wrote ‘I love you, Not only for what you are, But for what I am, When I am with you.’ To most this would seem cheesy, something that is slotted with romantic movies, Hallmark cards and couples who love PDA. To me, this quote is beautiful, it puts my thoughts and feelings towards my rock into poetic words that I can use to express my thankfulness to the person who is able to help me become the person that I usually am. Its such a foreign though to most, but mental illness is not all consuming to everyone. To some, it is a monster, who sometimes quietly emerges from the shadows when it is least expected, and then pounces.
A rock is someone who is willing to fight for you, and just like your stereotypical knight in shining armour, do anything to defend you from the monster who is determined to consume you; and when that monster leaves, you can return right back to the self that most of the world sees as the ‘normal’ you. I want to thank my rock for boosting my self confidence, and making me feel beautiful on the days where I feel like the complete opposite. Where I’m sitting on the floor in my room, surrounded by rejected clothing, feeling defeated. To some, the task of simply getting ready is something that they would never consider stress inducing, yet to others, it can induce all of their self doubts, body issues and hateful thoughts. A rock won’t question any of your triggers, or brush them off as ‘silly’, ‘self indulgent’ or ‘attention seeking.’ Even if they don’t personally understand the thoughts that are torturing you, they know you as a person, flaws and all, and that is what is truly important.
Everyone has a rock – whether they realize it or not. Everyone has someone in this world who would do anything to put a smile on their face. I know that at times it may seem as though no one is there, and no one is wiling to help lift you up off the ground, but I can assure you that that person is there.
I’ve never actually explicitly thanked my rock for everything that they do, and how crucial they are in my life. It seems as though I can never find the right words to express just how much I appreciate and love them. Words don’t seem sufficient to express my gratitude for everything that they do for me on a daily basis. The greatest feeling in the world – the feeling that I remind myself of whenever I’m at my worst, is that I am loved. Another human being loves me enough to put in endless time and effort in order to create the smallest change in me. That to me, is priceless, and is a feeling that will never be able to be expressed solely through words.
Instead, my message to my rock is this: I am going to be there for you in the same way that you have always been there for me. I want to support you through your darkest times, and celebrate with you through your lightest. I want you to place the trust that I have given you to me; and if the time ever comes where you need someone like I have needed you, I want to be that person. Thank you for being my rock.