You weren’t there on the day that I was born or the day that I took my first steps or the day that I started school. You missed the day I learned to ride a bike and the day I broke my arm.
But you were there to protect us when the man who helped to create me kicked in our front door. You were there when I learned how to drive. You were there when I graduated middle and high school. You were there when I was accepted to university and you were there to drop me off on my first day. You were there when I cried on your shoulder because I thought I wouldn’t make it through my first semester and you were there when I decided that I could.
You will be there to walk me down the aisle someday and you will be there to hold, play with, and love my children. And that is more than I can say for the man who does share my DNA.
I always wanted to be “normal” like all the other kids I knew who had two parents around. It was always just my mom, my brother, and I, and that was enough most of the time. But then you came along twelve years into my life and our family finally felt complete – more complete than I think it could have ever been with my other “dad.”
You prove every day that fatherhood requires love, not DNA. You never treated me like I was something you would have to accept if you wanted my mom. I was never a burden in your eyes; I was a bonus.
It took you a while to learn how to be a dad to a daughter – that was completely foreign territory for you – but we got there together. After all, I was still learning how to be a daughter to a dad.
Before you, I didn’t know that dads would drive twenty minutes into town in a snowstorm to pick me up after my exam just so I wouldn’t have to sit at school all day. I didn’t know that dads would laugh at all my silly inside jokes. I didn’t know that dads were the ones to take care of kids when the moms were away. I didn’t know that my dad could make my mom so happy. I didn’t know that dads would wear my crazy home-made t-shirts and go to One Direction concerts with me.
You have taught me so much about what it means to be a father and also what it means to be a man. You’ve taught me that real men don’t call women names, especially not the mother of their children. You’ve taught me that fathers don’t use their children for their own selfish purposes and they always put their children’s well being before their own.
Neither of us has ever been particularly talkative people, so I know I don’t say it often but I am so grateful that my mom chose you and that you chose us. Our relationship is that much more extraordinary because you didn’t have to love me unconditionally, but you did anyway. I am so lucky that you fight for us and care for us and work hard for us. I didn’t know that a dad could be like that until you showed me, and I am so thankful that we get to sit in comfortable silence with one another for the rest of our lives.