For purely ‘experimental’ reasons, I downloaded the app Tinder, to see what all of the fuss was about. To be honest, I was a little bit envious of all of my fast swiping friends, who talked about another world full of super likes and cute guys. After giving it a try for a few weeks, I have pieced together a list of the worst things that boys do over the app, so that the next time I run into one of these problems, I can simply send him a link to this article, directing him to which things he did wrong (so it can be used as a learning tool of course — you can thank me later!)
(1) The awkward selfie
When a girl takes a selfie, she generally knows what she’s doing, after all, she has usually been perfecting the art of it for years. She knows that everything from good lighting, to the right smile, to the perfect amount of subtle editing is all necessary to project the best picture of herself. This process usually takes at least ten (or a hundred) tries to actually complete. Now, from what I have seen off Tinder, most men have not perfected this art, and seem to have instead let in manifest into two ways; (1) the very awkward mirror selfie (2) the uncomfortable close face shot. Generally, both of these simply leave me wondering what was going through their mind when they decided to take this shot. At least when a girl takes a selfie, its to celebrate an occasion – like a new lipstick, a solid hair day or simply the right time of day where the lighting is perfect. When a guy takes a selfie, I simply find myself wondering what was going on in their head when they decided to do so. Trust me boys — you’re much better off using a picture that someone else (preferably a girl) has taken of you.
(2) The guy who REALLY wants your attention
While Tinder sometimes seems completely removed from society, some basic, humane, dating rules still apply. Similar to how you should never ‘double text’ and get the message when that special someone is not responding to you, you should know your limit — that is, your message limit, on Tinder. Chances are, unless the person that you are messaging has completely disappeared (or is in exam season), they have probably seen your message. If they don’t respond, move on, there are plenty of swipes in the tinder-verse that I’m sure would love your pick-up line about their eyes. The worst thing is when a guy relentlessly messages you, and, trust me, the more you message a girl, the less likely they are to respond. And PLEASE do not get angry at the person who has chose not to respond back to you – it should be a mutual decision to engage in conversation, and you are not entitled to their attention, nor a response.
(3) The flaunter
Critics dislike Tinder because they claim that it harbours superficial relationships, where people judge each other solely on their personal appearances, and not their personalities. This is elevated to an entirely new, superficial level when men decide to flaunt their cars, material possessions – or even their bank statements in their photos. As an aside, the girls that would be ‘attracted’ to a picture of your bank statement probably aren’t the ones that you want in your life. However, posting these pictures make you seem like a jerk, an uninteresting one at that, who wrongly thinks that girls will swoon over a picture of your muddy F150.
(4) The ‘tall guy’
Maybe this one manifested from girls always whining about how they “want a tall guy.” But, if your first line on your Tinder profile is how tall you are, you’re taking it too far. Its even worse if you use your height as a way to start a conversation with me. Imagine starting a conversation in real life by going up to someone saying ‘Hi, I’m 6’3.’ First off, I have no idea how to reply to that statement? Am I supposed to act impressed? Tell you my height to see if we’re the perfect tall/ short ratio to be a ‘cute couple’? Secondly, it just makes you appear as though there’s nothing more interesting to you than your height. No girl is going to go on a date only knowing that you’r a tall guy. Its really only an interesting fact to know if they need someone to get food off of the top shelf.
(5) The one who takes it into real life
Let me paint a setting for you: you’re sitting in class, completely minding your own business, when a suddenly you hear a whisper behind you “didn’t I match with you on tinder?” You continue to stare directly at the professor, praying that the whisper was not intended for you. “Why didn’t you message me back?” you hear a little bit louder. Nothing is worse than when someone questions you about your Tinder habits in real life. Maybe you’re just on there for fun, or maybe you just want to creep all of the cute new guys in your residence, or maybe you’re on there because you’re writing an article on Tinder for Her Campus. Regardless, no one needs to be questioning you on your Tinder habits …. especially when you’re trying to learn chemistry.
(6) The catfish
Look, I know that Zac Efron didn’t happen to come to London, and get a Tinder account. The same rule applies for every NHL player and guy who’s pictures get over a million shares on Tumblr. While there might be the chance that this might happen on the VERY RARE OCCASION, realistically, London isn’t swarming with celebrities – especially those who are incredibly eager to meet up with college girls. Since Catfish came onto Netflix, I don’t think you’re fooling anyone anymore with those too-good-to-be-true abs.