Life can work in the most intriguing, amusing and thrilling way.
Have you ever wondered to yourself how different your life would be if you had or hadn’t made certain decisions? The decision to study abroad for college education, choosing to come to UW, deciding to pursue a specific major…Even making a slightly different choice would dramatically change where I am currently, who I encounter or interact with… This idea is both exciting and terrifying.
One example is when I made a friend named Imane on the first day of Autumn quarter 2016 in Econ class. Imane was my first African American friend and also my first friend to get married, just last quarter.
via Jeanene Michelsen Photography
To be honest, I was quite intimidated and awestruck in the beginning of our friendship. How on earth could an introverted Asian international girl get into conversation with a sassy, fierce African American girl? Surprisingly, it was such a thrill and joy to make her giggle at my ignorance of silly things like her hairstyle. I remember asking her with slight trepidation if I could touch her pom-pom-like Afro hair and drilling her about the secret of long braids, dreadlocks, and extensions. It may seem utterly ridiculous and hilarious, but these things were simply so alien and foreign from what I would encounter back in Taiwan!
Imane got engaged in the third week of Autumn quarter. I still remember feeling immense joy and thankfulness when she extended the invitation to her wedding ceremony to me. The days leading up to the wedding were full of nothing but eager anticipation and anxiousness, and the wedding day itself was one that I will never forget.
via Kelsey Chuang
My friend Leana and I were the few Asians in attendance, surrounded by an enormous crowd of jubilant African American and white wedding guests from the bride and groom’s families, respectively. We maneuvered timidly and tentatively through the dazzling hotel into a room decorated with lit candles and a long, white carpet. I was bursting with emotions as soft music filled the air and the doors swung open, revealing Imane in her sheer white wedding dress, the satin veil and silky train trailing on the floor. Her face was glowing with pure happiness and perhaps nervous excitement as she held onto her dad’s arm before he gave her away to Philip, her husband. They stood on a podium and exchanged their vows in front of the pastor, guests and God.
This was a really wonderful experience to me. I had been brought up in a traditional Taiwanese family with Buddhism and ancestor-worshipping beliefs. Only when I started college in the US did I truly get to learn about Christianity and was introduced to Christians’ values and unwavering faith. I was speechless at Imane and Philips’ bond and love for God, as well as the pure trust they put in each other.
via Jeanene Michelsen Photography
It was only much later that I learned that Imane’s family is from Benin, Africa. During the event, the African female guests donned on glorious traditional clothing—filled with eye-catching swirls and patterns, intricately woven embellishments, and colorful beaded fabrics. Imane’s parents stood out amongst the crowd in splendid lavender garments. And all the jaw-dropping, fashionable headwraps! It was as though each person was sporting artistic, asymmetrical pieces of delicate artworks in their hair that took my breath away. This was such a touching sight, to see them celebrating and having their traditional Beninese culture on full display. I couldn’t stop grinning like a maniac throughout the merry night, snapping madly away at the guests dancing and swaying to the lively, upbeat African music reverberating throughout the ballroom.
via Jeanene Michelsen Photography
To me, marriage is still miles and miles away, but I saw the union of two hearts beating as one, each that would sacrifice for the other’s happiness and wellbeing. I saw the blessings and love that were given by their family and friends, and the bonding of the guests in honor for the happy couple and God. I don’t want to get extremely religious here, but it was a truly beautiful moment, being able to experience the joy surrounding their decision to come together faithfully before the Lord Jesus Christ. As Imane and Philips’ family threw money upon them at the last African dance, blessing them with good luck and garnering whoops of appreciation from the crowd, I saw just how distinct the wedding style is compared to Asian/Taiwanese weddings. It truly opened my eyes and heart to such beautiful, touching cultural differences. The music, the dances, the clothings…they struck deeply within me and allows me to experience the richness of Beninese culture for the first time.
Undeniably, our lives are full of uncertainties. Looking back now, I often wonder what my life would be had I not been able to cross paths with her…If Imane hadn’t taken a seat next to me on the first day of Econ class, we would never have chatted and started our friendship in our freshmen year of college. I guess this can only be explained by fate. This prodded me to cherish every chance that I get to interact and bond with my Taiwanese and American friends, knowing that each relationship is so unique and extraordinary.
My first American and Christian wedding in the US taught me to love, cherish, to be grateful for the friends and even acquaintances in my life now.