Maybe the cravings have kicked in, maybe she have an important exam coming up, or maybe she just finished the hardest week of your life. Give a girl a piece of chocolate cake and I bet she can give you at least one reason why it’s totally acceptable for her to eat her slice plus three bites of yours. Some might call these “excuses,” but I prefer the term, “totally understandable and legitimate reasons to overeat.”
1. “I have my period”
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Honestly, I think I’ve pulled the period card even when it wasn’t that time of the month. There is almost no type of food or food combination this excuse doesn’t cover. Chocolate chip cookie with vanilla icing, cookie dough pieces and rainbow sprinkles? It’s fine, you have your period. Seriously, who can judge a girl for eating a little too much when it feels like her uterus is being strangled to death by that anaconda Nicki Minaj keeps singing about? Next time Mother Nature sends you your monthly gift, try to remember that if you use this excuse every time it happens, your eating habits will be gross about 25% of the time. Feel free to reward yourself for facing the monster of femininity, but try to do it every other month instead.
2. “I’m so stressed”
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You’ve been slaving over this psych exam for the last three hours and the only light at the end of the tunnel appears to be golden and fried. Oh wait, that’s not light, that’s a mozzarella stick. Sometimes it feels like the only thing getting you through a long stretch of stress is eating enough to make you forget about those 100 pages of reading you still have ahead of you. The only way to avoid gaining more weight than points on your test is to study somewhere with limited access to the good stuff. You’re a lot less likely to grab a snack (or four) if you need to get off your butt to actively seek it out.
3. “I had a hard week. I totally deserve this”
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Unfortunately, the thing about college is that just about every week is a stressful week. If you go crazy on the snacks after every rough day, you’re gonna end up celebrating far too often. Try to save this one for the extremes, like after that exam you totally bombed, or after get an amazing grade back. You’ll save yourself from adding a food baby to your long list of neglected responsibilities.
4. “Calories don’t count when you’re drunk”
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Ugh, if only. Unfortunately, calories not only count when you’re drunk, but they also count when you’re drinking! Between the alcohol calories, sugary chasers and late-night fried food, it’s almost impossible to dodge the calories. Although drunk indulgences always (and I mean always) seem like a good idea at the time, try to pause during your sprint to the nearest dining hall and think about how that mediocre crepe is going to make you feel tomorrow. Would it be worth it if you were sober?
5. “Calories don’t count when they’re free”
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If you’re not the one buying the late night half and half or actually calling to order the Dough to Door, you’re not the one gaining the weight, right? Wrong. Girls’ habit of declaring that they are not going to buy that double order of fries and then eating all of their friends’ food not only leaves them eating just as much as they would have otherwise, but it also makes them look like a mooch. If you decide you are going to be good, stick to your guns.
6. “It’s fine, I’m going to work out later/I walk like 10 minutes to class”
Courtesy of stylealchemy.com
Courtesy of stylealchemy.com
Ah, the old gym excuse. Spoiler alert: you won’t go to the gym later/tomorrow/this week. Another spoiler alert: you aren’t burning nearly as many calories by walking to class as you think you are. According to the new health app on iOS8, you walk about 1.6 miles throughout the day, which is about the equivalent of 140 calories. Unfortunately, 140 calories just isn’t going to cover that Twix bar you impulsively bought from Paws n Go on your way back to your dorm. In the future, plan on indulging only AFTER you’ve gone to the gym. This way, you’ll be sure to have already burned the calories and will be a lot less likely to waste them. Remember not to indulge immediately after the gym- you should be refueling with healthy foods.
Cover photo via entertainment.msn.co.nz