Being Indian and living in a foreign country is an endless journey in disappointing others. Truth be told, I feel quite depressed myself when I think of the countless potential fans who thought I defeated the odds by surviving police beatings, horrific poverty and winning a game show to be able to fund my university education, just before I deigned to inform them that the most traumatizing part of my life was (and is still) my high-pressure, middle-class existence.
via Culture Trip
By the way, ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ is not a Bollywood movie. There’s your first piece of trivia.
Bollywood, India’s irrepressible Hindi movie industry, is to blame for this phenomenon, as well as for misguided strangers who scream ‘Namaste!’ at me in shops or consider themselves experts on Indian culture because they heated up a package of curry once in their life. Not to mention the people who are mindless of their well-being as they expect me to spontaneously break out into a graceful song-and-dance routine, which is not a pleasant sight.
Determined to use Bollywood as a force of good and to clear my very exciting reputation, I’ve compiled this small movie guide. This list aims to match interested, non-Indian readers to a small selection of well-made, post-2000 Hindi movies that capture unforgettable moments of India’s turbulent history, its highly complicated society, the diverse culture, tantalizing food….and of course, its life changing music and dance.
Disclaimer: Purists of the Indian film genre might accuse me of bias as a result of being an over-dramatic, young woman with very clear favorites. In my defense, this is by no means a comprehensive guide, but just a way to help newcomers to Bollywood find their preferences and stay on their feet despite the barrage of commercialistic garbage currently raining down on us all.
So, what’s your type? For those who think…
1. “I Was Born in The Wrong Century!”
If you love history, mythology and everything in between with all the period drama epicness, gorgeous cinematography, heartrending romances, stunning costumes and a dance-and-music overload, the next few movies are for you. Be warned, however, that one of these movies will take a good three or four hours out of your day. Start off with Jodhaa Akbar (2008), based on the historical inter-religious marriage of Emperor Akbar and his wife in 17th century Mughal India. There are unforgettably beautiful battles between conflicting ideas, souls and of course, armies. Quickly follow up with Bajirao Mastani (2015) if you find yourself really enjoying this genre. Perhaps you’re searching for something a little less…flashy? Maybe even watch some sports? Lagaan (2001) is the right choice for you! Take a look at life, love and a cricket match in nineteenth century India.
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2. “I’d Rather Be Outside Doing Something Active…”
When you’re taking a break between practice sessions, find some inspiration with Dangal (2016), a wrestling movie that at once manages to be ferocious and feminist and is based on the life stories of real life champions. Afterwards, here’s Chak de! India (2007), a movie about India’s National Sport (Spoiler: it’s not cricket) that fuses energy with entertainment for your standard feel-good sports movie. On the other hand, if you want a longer break and taking on cricket and colonization together sounds more like your thing, we’d like to direct you back to Lagaan (2001). You won’t be disappointed.
3. “I’m An Intellectual!”
That’s wonderful to hear, and not at all pretentious. Luckily, there are plenty of Bollywood movies that cater to this need and all its variations. Unfortunately, they’re usually not heard of too often thanks to ‘box office hit’ drawing in more onlookers than ‘critically acclaimed’. However, you can take our word that these next few films will really work their wonders on the way you see the world. Before you embark on one of these unforgettable voyages, however, remember to steer clear of spoilers.
Terrorism is a global problem and one that India is well acquainted with. A Wednesday (2008) is an unremarkable title for a story full of unexpected twists and turns where desperate police officers have less than a day to negotiate with a terrifying mastermind who threatens the destruction of an entire city. It isn’t what it sounds like and that’s what makes it brilliant. Rang De Basanti (2006) starts out as a deceptively fun flick about a group of friends making a movie together but slowly descends into a painful, unflinching study of governmental corruption and how the fight for freedom is one that can never end.
What’s that? You don’t want to be preached at by the movie you’re watching? Maybe do the thinking and analyzing for yourself? Talaash (2012) is waiting for you! Take your turn and play detective in this gritty mess where a police officer, his ruined family, contradicting narratives, a series of unexplained murders, Mumbai’s red light district, nighttime intrigues and unbelievable secrets come together for a shocking conclusion.
Wait…by ‘intellectual’ did you mean that you were a lover of literature? Look no further! International tributes to Shakespeare’s works are nothing new in world cinema and India has its own, with Haider (2014) retelling the story of Hamlet, but set in the war and terror-struck state of Kashmir. Fans of the original will enjoy watching a crazed Haider (Hamlet) stage a Bollywood style Mousetrap (yes, that means music and dance) in an effort to expose his father’s killer.
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4. “I’m All About Road Trips and Dysfunctional Families!”
Are guns, tragic backstories and screaming all right with you? Yes? Good to know. Try Highway (2014) for equal doses of warm fuzzies and hysterical tears as you join the travels of a kidnapped young woman who decides that life with her captors is more peaceful than what the future of her normal existence holds in store for her. No? Something more light-hearted? Are you all right with a few poop jokes thrown into the toss? (Come on, what’s a road trip without bathroom issues?) Featuring veteran actors, side-splitting jokes, a relentless barrage of witticisms and beautiful locales, Piku (2015) will definitely put a (slightly strained) smile on your face.
5. “I’m Kinda Into Girls…”
Are you sick of the typical hero-heroine dynamic? Out looking for something that will satisfy your desire to explore the unorthodox and break social taboos? Do you want to side with a strong, outspoken female protagonist? We know how you feel. For your viewing pleasure, may we present Queen (2013), the story of a shy, young woman who’s dumped before her wedding and deals with her sorrow by….going on her honeymoon alone? That sounds like fun, but maybe you prefer something that amps up the tension and danger. Is that right?
Next up: A pregnant wife who’s out looking for her missing husband as the mysteriously beautiful city that’s swallowed him up prepares for its annual religious festival. Bureaucracy, assassins and her unborn child don’t make the heroine’s job any easier. Give Kahaani (2012) a try! If you’re caught between the two extremes and decide on a slice-of-life movie instead, Margarita With a Straw (2014) is a safe bet, telling the story of a young, bisexual woman with Cerebral Palsy who goes out into the world to experience independence for herself.
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6. “Microwave My Heart Right Now.”
Something warm and sincere is in demand, then? You’ll probably enjoy Taare Zameen Par (2007), the story of a dyslexic boy who takes on the unforgiving Indian education system and its passion for mindless success, with the help of an understanding art teacher.
7. “Give Me Mindless Trash To Turn Off My Stressed Brain.”
Well, if you must. We won’t judge you (openly). Nearly any movie with Salman Khan’s name in it can fulfill this requirement, so feel free to look around. Here’s Dabbang (2010), a story about….even we can’t remember. But there’s some fighting, a pretty girl, inane jokes, and an infamous item song. Have fun and please use headphones out of consideration for the brain cells of other people in the room. Karan Johar’s directorial projects also achieve the same effect, albeit with lots of emotional drama and unnecessary dancing, so steer yourself to Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham (2001). Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011) is a well made film with first-class acting and photography, but at the end of the day it’s your typical ‘beautiful-people-go-to-beautiful-places-and-discover-how-beautiful-life-is’ type of movie, so give it a try if that’s your thing.
8. “I Have No Idea What Suspension Of Disbelief Is.”
You’re seriously fine with dozens of immaculately dressed dancers popping out of nowhere and becoming part of the set and knowing the steps without any kind of prior preparation? Terrible miscommunications between lovers and mortifying misunderstandings? Any kind of plothole as long as the drama and music is good? Say no more and go on straight to Devdas (2002). Everyone and everything is too beautiful there to be true, so enjoy at leisure. (It’s three hours long.)
9. “Hit Me With Anything, I’m Open To Adventure.”
YOU, my friend, are the reason Bollywood exists and thrives. Knock yourself out with some fan favorites.
Agneepath (2012): Man goes on a bloody mission in the underworld to avenge his murdered father. The level of raw violence and blood in the movie is only matched by how unforgettably mesmerizing the music and background score is. In fact, watch it just for that. Dil Dhadakne Do (2015): A rich couple with a miserable marriage arrange a Europe cruise for all family members, friends and enemies to impress them on their anniversary. Fights break out. There’s alcohol. All the problems are first-world ones. Everyone is falling in love with everyone they shouldn’t. The narrator is the family’s dog. It’s a wild ride. Goliyon ki Rasleela Ram-Leela (2013): The long name is because there’s so much sexual tension and lust in this Bollywood ‘Romeo and Juliet’ retelling that religious leaders made a fuss that prompted several title edits. Watch it for the sublime sets, the enchanting music, the dance numbers…and please use headphones. 3 Idiots (2009): Engineering college students do typical trashy college things. For some reason, this movie got a lot of money. The music is a safe bet. Lunchbox (2013): The author of this piece loves Irrfan Khan too much (remember the police officer from Slumdog Millionaire?) and is passionate about eating homemade Indian food. Lunchbox combines both to make a delicious yet simple story that’ll have you running to the kitchen to fill up your plate of snacks every few minutes with an idiotic grin on your face. Promise.
via Plasma Movie