The girl that all guys try to avoid is the clingy one. You know exactly who I’m talking about. She texts her guy 24/7, always checks up on him, always asks him to hang out, stresses when he doesn’t communicate with her…the list goes on. And even if this girl may think she is being a good girlfriend, it’s probably otherwise. Eventually the guy will get annoyed about the fact that he has no space or “freedom” anymore, and he will leave her. No one wants to be overly-attached, so how can you avoid being this girl?
1. Focus more on yourself. Has there been a club that you’ve really wanted to get into? Maybe you’ve just joined a sorority or intramural team? Or perhaps you’re looking into adding that psychology class you’ve been so interested about? Regardless, you need to spend more time on yourself, and less time on your guy. This will reduce any stress or trust issues you may have with him; and, in turn, you’ll feel better and more relaxed.
2. Be open and honest. Trust is a big thing in a relationship—and, if there is none, it may be the main reason why a girl will cling to her guy. If you’re suspicious about how he may be acting, or worried that he might dump you, it’s probably appropriate to just ask about the current situation. Don’t ask too many questions, but a simple inquiry addressing the status of the relationship would be best. That way neither of you feel any confusion about the other.
3. Watch your body language. As much as a guy may love you, he may not love the PDA. Yes, some hand-holding and an occasional peck on the cheek is sweet, but demanding an intense kissing session for all to see is not appealing to him. Why is this? Well, he may find it downright embarrassing. He doesn’t want his friends to see him all lovey-dovey with his girl. They may already know that he’s crazy for you; but, for him, having to show them his soft side just begs for some teasing.
4. Give back what you get. Look at how your guy is treating you. Does he give you a lot of attention, or does he only contact you a couple of days a week? Does he ever take you out to dinner or to a sporting event? Or is this only during special occasions, or maybe even out of guilt? All guys are different. Most of them are not trying to be a jerk about it, but sometimes they don’t put in a lot of effort into the relationship—especially if they have other things to do. So, instead of overly-pampering your boyfriend and constantly scheduling plans, just act as casual he may be acting. Trust me, he will arrange plans once he receives the hint, but he will also appreciate that you’re giving him the space he wants.
Until next time,
Aphrodite