I can remember it like it was yesterday. It was 2009 and you had just stepped on the scene. Everyone loved you, but I wasn’t so easy to please. I didn’t see what the big deal was. To me, you were just like the rest of your counterparts: average, and with way too many overly exaggerated characters. I even attempted to give you a chance to prove yourself once, and while you weren’t terrible, you left much to be desired.
But my feelings about you changed a couple of months ago. I was home for winter break and I was feeling adventurous. Desperation and boredom drove my actions, so I sought you out for entertainment. That’s when it happened. I fell for you, and boy did I fall hard. I made a genuine connection with you and that’s why it hurt so much when I found out that you were leaving for good, ending our short time together. It’s been a few days now since you’ve been gone, and I can’t help but replay the memories over and over in my head.
In order to move on from you, I need closure, so I hope that this farewell will do the trick.
Goodbye Leslie. Your go get ‘em attitude and tenacious spirit will always inspire me to chase my dreams and to never accept failure as a viable option.
Goodbye Ben. I can always ac-count on you to be awkward and mature and amazing. Calc-you-later!
Goodbye Ann. Swim far and wide you beautiful, tropical ethnically ambiguous fish.
Goodbye Ron. You are my spirit animal. That is all.
Goodbye Tom. Your swag level is unsurpassable and I am out of your league. TREAT!
Goodbye Donna. Beyoncé already spent 4 minutes describing you, so I don’t have to. YO’SELF!
Goodbye April. You are so loving and wonderful and dark and intelligent and funny and stupid and I hate you.
Goodbye Andy. You ARE the greatest rock star in the universe. Don’t forget that.
Goodbye Garry. You’re pleasant and know how to make the best out of a bad situation. You’re a good man.
Goodbye Chris. You make me happy and I know that makes you happy. Happiness everywhere!
Also, Jean-Ralphio and Mona-Lisa, good riddance. You guys are the wooorst!
I’ll miss you Parks and Recreation. My life has changed for the better since encountering you and I’ll forever be grateful for that.