Whenever a female has f****d up relationship with her father, or absence of a father figure during her childhood it tends to spill into any adult relationships they embark on…”
Well, thank Urban Dictionary. Before we go any further, I’d just like to acknowledge that “daddy issues” are definitely not exclusive to women. The absence of a father affects everyone. When you sit down and really think about your warped relationship with a parent, you feel many things. Maybe you feel alone, abandoned, and/or angry, but it is an important thing that you will encounter at some point.
Coming from a young woman with daddy issues a-plenty, reconciling differences with your dad can be hard, to say the least. It won’t happen overnight. It won’t be a pretty process, but it is one that will be a learning experience!
1. Wait until life slows down
Don’t take on the task of reconciling differences with your dad at a stressful point in your life. Don’t open up old wounds during finals week or when you’re on a mad hunt for a job, or when your relationship just ended. It won’t benefit anything and potentially could compromise your opportunity to make this work with your parent! Have patience. The time will come.
2. Make the effort
You have to come to the realization that if you’re going to make this an easier process you have to be willing to try over and over. You can’t stop trying because if you do then they will too. The opportunity of doing this comes few and far in between once we hit a certain age. Get comfortable with extending olive branch after olive branch. Be prepared to make the first phone call and expect to face a few familiar disappointments because they will happen, but don’t let it get you down! Things will definitely change.
3. Don’t stop talking
Keep the conversation going. Dialogue is key to getting to the root of a real conversation. So, take as many awkward small talk sessions as possible. Eventually, you’ll stop talking about the weather.
4. Do it for yourself, not him.
This is for you. All for you. That’s all.
xoxo -HC!