Ask people what they think about FWB relationships and it seems like more often than not you’re given an immediate answer of “Ummm…no. Nope. No. Definitely not.” FWB relationships have a notoriously bad reputation for filling people with false hope, shattering feelings, screwing up friendships, and causing a worldwide shortage of tissues. But many of us have been in the situation where we don’t see our friend as just a friend anymore. Maybe you’ve started noticing how their smile gives you butterflies, or how seeing their name pop up on Caller ID makes your heart race a little, and maybe you’ve been getting a little too excited for those once innocent movie nights and platonic cuddle seshes. But at the same time you say to yourself- “Whoa girl. Slow down here. You’ve got stuff to do, things to see, people to meet, some shoes to buy, some ladders to climb. Do you really wanna get into a relationship right now? Not to mention do they wanna get into a relationship right now? Omigosh…do they even see me like that?” The internal battle within yourself over this monumental issue seems like it will never cease until you bring it up with them. So you put on your big girl panties and you go and hash it out with them like you’ve hashed a million things out with them. And as these things have a funny way of working out, the attraction is mutual, but they, like yourself, are in no place to be in a relationship. So here comes the big dilemma: do you jump into the blurry and uncertain world of FWB or do you stay just friends?
Now you’re probably thinking about all the possible negative aspects of a FWB relationship, but the truth is, it’s not all bad and it’s not all that taboo. To convince you of this, allow me to throw some science at you. Yup, that’s right. Legitimate studies have been done to try and debunk the FWB myths we’ve all become too familiar with. This study, conducted by Michigan State University students, found 60% of college students have had at least one FWB relationship. One of the professors who coauthored the study, Professor Levine, stated the ultimate goal was to determine if FWB relationships are in fact taboo, and what the ultimate motivators are. The ultimate motivator was found to be that college students want a sexual relationship, minus the commitment aspect of a relationship. The study found that 10% of FWB relationships ended in an actual romantic relationship, 33% of FWB relationships ended but they remained friends, 26% of FWB relationships ended with a ruined friendship, and 32% continued with the FWB relationship.
If you and your FWB can be honest with each other about your desires and expectations, and you keep the focus on the friends part of the relationship, then why not take a leap of faith and try it out? It will probably fall far from the romantic fantasy you’ve dreamed up since your first Nicholas Sparks movie, but it could also be a fun time with a good friend, and worst case scenario, you walk away with a lesson learned. This is college, a time for adventures and mistakes, so why not test the waters?