Why Can Boys Have Their Cake and Eat it Too?

The beautiful Nilla Ali covered the identity of the relationship (this week's blog - Defining a Relationship) in terms of what we all dread – that inevitable conversation to answer the question, “what are we?”--the conversation that leaves almost every girl convinced it will be the end of…erm, whatever it is. In fact, sometimes the only hope is that the word “slam piece” will never exit his mouth. Or, one comment that might be even worse (that I have heard) is: “I think of you like a sister” (I’m sorry. The referenced individual has a sister. Dear God, let my brother never say that to a girl he has hooked up with. I still feel the urge to gag upon thinking of this).

Sticking up for yourself might be the hardest thing to do. The hope is that if you keep your mouth shut long enough, eventually he will come to his senses and realize that you are, in fact, the exception (sound familiar?). That he really does like you, and he couldn’t bear the thought of you and him not… taking part in social activities.
Yeah. We all have that dream.
The thing is, by not talking about it – by all of us not talking about it – we allow guys to continue to hold the upper hand in every way. They are allowed to continue an ‘emotionless’ hookup with whomever they want, all the while thinking they are doing nothing wrong. They get to have their cake and eat it too. Girls? We get no cake. Instead, we get that 2 am phone call.
The question of sexual morality of the 21st century is up in the air. Decide for yourself what that means to you, but whatever you decide, don't settle for less than you're worth.