So this is probably the most embarrassing thing I have ever admitted on the Internet, and I am sure I will regret it one day. But honestly, I have nothing to lose and I have a lot of thoughts to get off my chest. A few weeks ago, my roommate (who will remain nameless for the sake of sparing her the embarrassment) and I decided to buy Webkinz. After a long, nostalgic talk about our childhoods, one thing led to another and suddenly we were 17 pages deep on Amazon trying to track down the elusive Cheeky Dog. Remember Cheeky Dog? Google it, and it’ll all come back rushing back to you.
It started out as a joke, but I really was so excited to see if it was still the same as when I was 12 and would rush home from school every day to take a spin on the Wheel of Wow. My childhood obsession with Webkinz was definitely borderline concerning, but we all had our weaknesses. For some it was Club Penguin or Neopets, but for me nothing was better than getting a computer game and a real, cuddly stuffed animal.
I have had my Webkinz for about two weeks now, and if we’re being honest, the novelty definitely wore off after, like, two days. But it was nice to temporarily indulge in nostalgia and pretend that I am not a second semester Fourth Year on the precipice of entering the ~adult, Webkinz free world.~ Here are some thoughts that I had after my 10-year Webkinz hiatus.
Meet Stormi!
She is a Pink and White Cat, and yes, she is named after Kylie Jenner’s baby. Stormi arrived on the day that human Stormi’s name was announced on Instagram. Now I have just upped the embarrassment by admitting that not only am I a 21-year-old who just bought a Webkinz online, but I also religiously keep up with the Kardashians.
Okay so, this is, like, exactly the same as it was last time I played. How has this website not changed in 10 years?
I bought her a water trampoline and a pool because she is a spoiled only child.
I spotted the first difference on the “Things to Do” map.
They have a section for “Educational Content” now? What would that even entail? I obviously didn’t click on it because I didn’t get a Webkinz for the educational resources. I’m just trying to make Kinzcash. #hereforthewrongreasons
Remember the Curio Shop?
I have a bone to pick with this game now. The Gem Hunt used to actually be hard. I have gotten a gem every single time I’ve played, and it’s like what’s the point? We had to work for our prize back in the day, and now everyone gets a participation trophy. Typical.
So after ten minutes of playing, I discovered a game-changing hack.
Quizzy’s Question Corner is by far the fastest way to win Kinzcash, and the questions are literally designed for children. I guess probably because this is a children’s game. After 5 minutes of answers questions about rhyming for ages 5-6, I was basically rich. Is that an Honor offense?
Aaaaaannnnndddd there are a ton of ads and pop-ups now.
Consumer culture has invaded my childhood. That’s it, I’m out.