Throughout my lifetime I’ve been acquainted with a wide range of friend groups. From intensely religious to severely belligerent, I’ve made the some of the best and diverse friendships. However, as a byproduct of these relationships I’ve realized there are certain qualities in a friend that are especially unappealing no matter what type of person you are.
For starters, friends that talk about themselves constantly are not the kind of people anyone needs in their lives. Honestly, I am enthralled and riveted that you just ate two bagels because you got peckish, like boy your life is wild, but if I hear another “I” statement from you I’m not going to make it. Talking about yourself is great every now and then, however it is so impolite to be constantly focused on yourself. Doesn’t it get exhausting being a narcissist?
Ask yourself how many times you’ve droned on about yourself and forgotten to ask your friend how THEIR day was. It’s so easy to get excited about your own life that people neglect the attention their friends deserve.
Along those lines, nothing screams, “I’m an egotistical bigot,” quite like spinning a story your friend is excited about into something about yourself. It is frustrating that people are so obsessed with themselves they can’t go on a second without making it about them. Sit your self-absorbed behind down and just be attentive and encouraging. Let them have their moment. I know it will be hard not talking about yourself for ten seconds, but I think you’ll survive.
However, you can’t just ask someone how their day was and call it quits. Being an engaged and active listener is the most important part. Think about all the times your friend has been trying to tell you a story and you’re there, sitting on your phone, not even making eye contact. Get it together! It’s irritating, disrespectful, and insulting that your phone demands more attention than the person in front of you. Try, I don’t know, putting your phone down and listening to what they have to tell you? Revolutionary, I know. If you’re not actively engaging and reflecting on their new news then you’re old news.
You’re also a pretty trash friend if you can’t maintain contact with your friends. I understand, people get busy and have lives; nevertheless, that does not give anybody an excuse to diminish or cease communication. Friendship is a two way street, buddy. One person can’t be constantly reaching out to the other. It makes the other person feel worthless that they aren’t worth the effort. I’m positive you’re extensively busy schedule can pencil in fifteen seconds to shoot a text every once in awhile.
Whether you think you’re an exemplary friend or not, everyone can use a little reality check. Each of us could strive more to be less narcissistic, more attentive, and less distant. You may or may not be teetering on the edge, wondering whether this article could apply to you, and if so: It probably is. So use this device in front of you right now to reach out to that friend you’ve been underappreciating and change your lousy “friend” ways.