We are fed tens of hundreds of general life lessons as we grow up. ‘Treat others as you want to be treated,’ ‘Live above the influence,’ and so many more. But have you ever stopped to think that some of them could have been taught much differently, maybe even better?
Peer Pressure
From the time we start kindergarten with our brand-new Barbie backpacks, we are told to not give in to peer pressure. It’s mostly centered on things like drugs, alcohol, and bullying. We are told, “You never have to do anything you don’t want to” and “Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you have to.” The problem with this dynamic is that it means the peer pressuring is already going on. It means we are taking defensive steps instead of preventative ones. Think about it: how many times have you been told not to give in to peer pressure? Now, how many times have you been told not to pressure your peers?
Rape
As a woman, I know that I have to be extra-careful of my surroundings when I’m walking alone late at night. I know to carry pepper spray and to hold my keys between my knuckles. I know that in most circumstances, I have to be afraid of men. We are teaching potential victims how to deal with a situation that stems from a much bigger issue. This isn’t as simple a fix as the peer pressure problem. You can’t just tell people not to rape other people. You’d think you could but, sadly, this is not the case. This problem has to do with how boys are taught to view women.
Dress Codes and Objectification
Stories are popping up all over the internet about girls being punished in some way for fairly ridiculous dress-code violations. A high school student was sent home and reprimanded for wearing skinny jeans with the line, “it’s unfair on the male teachers.” Similar problems arise for things such as strapless dresses at Prom or fitted clothing and all are met with phrases like, “it distracts the boys” or “it gives them the wrong idea.” No. The only wrong idea here is the one where women are regarded simply as bodies and how we reveal those bodies being our one defining quality.
These lessons only scrape the tip of the iceberg and I encourage you to think back on what you’ve been taught and decide if they are, in fact, good lessons.