You know how it goes. You’re walking around campus doing your own thing when all of a sudden you notice someone approaching you. You try to avoid eye contact because people are the worst but then! It happens. They say “hi” to you. AND greet you by name. You have absolutely no idea who this person is. Not even a faint “met you once at a party” or “you sit behind me in a few classes.” Literally nothing comes to mind besides sheer panic. You know what you must do. You’re not proud. But the only solution is: lie.
It is so much easier to always pretend to know somebody. It is so incredibly awkward when they know you and rub that in your face. “Oh, wow! Look at this person being so confident to greet me by my own name, that is just great.”
The next, almost painfully obvious, step is to pull the whole “oh my gosh, how have you been? I haven’t seen you for far too long” all the while having the biggest and most insincere smile plastered on your face. The key here is to not let them see the chink in your amour. You must convince them that you 100% know their name. Not by words but by how well you act while this whole situation plays out.
Now that you have recovered from that disastrous start, you have to begin your escape. The longer you are stuck in a conversation with the nameless individual, the more likely it will become a full-blown facts game. Since they already know your name, who can tell what other information they have on you? And because they already threw the fact they know your name in your face, you know they have no qualms about showing off how much they know you.
Your game plan for this conversation is to quickly assert your dominance. Let them know you are not threatened by the fact they know you. You gotta save face and pretend you know them too. Then, get the hell out of there. It doesn’t matter if you have to lie (we have been lying this whole time. NOW you care?!) and say you have class or fake a heart attack. Drop dead on the ground it doesn’t matter just get away from them.
Once you are a safe distance away from that maniac, you can breathe a sigh of relief. Who cares if you never got their name so you are doomed to repeat this cycle forever? That is a problem for future you. For now, you are safe and sound and that is all that matters.