10 Things You Should Avoid Saying to An English Major

1. Are you going to be a teacher?

Not all of us are studying to become teachers.

2. Can you write this paper for me?

I can, but I won’t.

3. Do you have a backup plan?

Uh….

4. I think it’s cool that you don’t care about money.

Thank you?

5. How do you spell ________?

I’m not a human dictionary.

6. Why didn’t you pick a more practical major?

Oh, writing isn’t practical?

7. So, what are you going to do to make a living?

I have plenty of options, but thank you for your concern.

8. Have you thought about going into Law?

Not quite.

9. I wish I could spend my time reading all day too.

Yeah, me too.

10. Did your parents disown you when they found out?

I think that’s enough for today.

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• english
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