We all know the feeling. We meet an awesome guy, have a lot in common and totally click. We hang out, hit things off and of course, as females, we automatically start to develop subtle feelings. We want to get to know him more, but how do we do this without being “clingy”?
Being clingy is something that all of us ladies fear. We avoid the “double texting” and we never want to seem too available. “Play hard to get,” they say, but I’ve found that this is something that doesn’t work in the dating scene, and it’s definitely not a good way to mask our clinginess.
Maybe if I let him work for my attention, that will hide my burning desire to get to know him more? No. Playing hard to get takes a lot of mental work, and nobody likes a mind game. Why can’t we all just be straightforward with each other?
Well, it’s not that easy. When you start to like someone, it can be scary telling them your feelings for the first time, especially when you don’t feel that you are absorbing the same energy from the other person. We start to overthink every little detail to the point that it consumes all of our thoughts. We yearn for the attention, the respect and the communication, but when we don’t receive this, our fight or flight instincts kick in and maybe we send that infamous double text—God forbid!
But the truth is, if I’m putting forth an effort to get to know you, then that is exactly what I’m trying to do. I’m texting you because I want to know how you’re doing, and I want to hang out with you because I genuinely enjoy spending time with you. I care. Our simple acts of kindness can make the other person believe we’re moving too fast, and this is a stigma that unfortunately, our society has placed on relationship building.
So, how do we avoid being clingy? Simple: find somebody who respects you enough to tell you how they truly feel. That way you won’t be left wondering if you two are on totally different pages. For all guys who aren’t interested, let us ladies know instead of labeling us as clingy. We would respect you so much more for your honesty, and that’s better than being ignored.