Having a crush is like eating ice cream even though you’re lactose intolerant. Sure, we think it’s easy enough; buy the ice-cream, eat the ice-cream, and have a wonderful time doing it, but it doesn’t work that way. We have to think about the consequences and what may happen if we jump without thinking or maybe thinking about it too much. It’s like a game of Russian Roulette; the ice-cream may be the best decision you’ve made all day, or it can totally play with your insides and make you regret it a 1,000%. The emotional roller coaster that comes with having a crush is not so easy to handle, as we can get lost in this “crush” thing or we can end up totally happy. If you’ve had crush or are currently embarking on that very interesting journey, you’ll be experiencing some of the stages we go through in this ever so dangerous conquest.
1. The Realization
That moment where you are sitting in a class, or hanging out in a coffee shop, and suddenly you look over your shoulders and BAM! You see the person that’s going to be your crush for the next week… or month… or for the rest of the semester. Maybe you already know this person, or he/she is even your friend. Maybe this person is a total stranger, or you’ve seen him around a few times, but today is the day; the day you realize how good they look, and how funny they are, and, of course, how much you have in common. It doesn’t really matter that you’ve only talk to them twice, all you just know is that you’ll get along perfectly.
2. The Investigation
This stage is essential; it can make or break your interest in “the crush.” This is where you check their Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter accounts, to see if you actually have something in common with this person and if not, well, you also have Instagram… so I guess that’s something. Investigating not only helps us see what they like, but we build a clear image on what they are like. Does he follow good accounts? Are his retweets any good? “He gets my sense of humor cause he likes the same vines as me.” “She just liked a picture of a rescue puppy, she’s such a good person!” Therefore, this stage is important, as we create an idea of what our crush is like and if we want to move forward.
3. The Approval
Because we liked what we saw on their social media accounts we go to the next stage, the approval, where we get the okay and the encouragement from our friends. In this stage you proceed with a lot of caution, one wrong move and your peers might dislike him/her forever. Keep in mind that you’ve already seen the profile, so you know what pictures to show your friends, the one’s where they look not only cute, but hot and even intellectual. You’ll tell them about the brief interactions you’ve had (if any). How amazing they are, and so on. Their approval is not necessary, but it is great for when you need a little push to move to the next stage.
4. The Dialogue
And so, it begins, the analyzing, strategizing and the planning just so you can get that dialogue going. You don’t want a few phrases anymore, you’re ready for a full-on conversation, and it’s very stressful. You ask for a pen and try to keep the conversation going, “Thanks for the pen, so, global warming, what do you think we can do to stop it?” You ask them to plug your phone close to them even if there is not one but two plugs beside you. If you are great at starting small talk then you probably don’t even think of this as a stage, but for the rest of us that turn into Jell-O when talking to a crush, this is a very nerve racking stage. We must think about what to say just so we don’t screw it up, we create different scenarios with different topics and result in our heads for when the perfect time comes along. The day arrives and one of two things happen: 1. You freak out, don’t say anything and sulk for a little bit until you realize you’re amazing and say, “I’ll get it right next time,” 2. You channel your inner Beyoncé and go for it. No matter which of those two happens you’ll end up feeling good because even if you didn’t talk to “the crush” you know you’ll have another opportunity and you will crush it (pun totally intended).
5. The Result
This brings us to the last stage, when you’ve talked to that “oh so difficult” crush and you realize that they are a person just like you. They have an interest that may not be listed on Facebook and have quirks and thoughts that Twitter doesn’t know about. The conversations might have gone smoothly or maybe not so much, but in the end, you’ll be proud of yourself because you did it! It doesn’t always work out, but it’s always good to try. Maybe you end up with a partner, or friend, you see that you don’t quite click with the person, or you realize that being alone is your jam, but it’s always better to know than to wonder what could’ve been, I’ve learned the hard way.
It’s important to do what you are comfortable with, if talking to the person is not your thing, or if talking right away it’s your thing, that is okay and know that we don’t all go through the stages the same way. You don’t have to pressure yourself or change for a crush cause crushes come and go and imagine if we changed parts of ourselves for every crush we have in this lifetime… there would be none of yourself left! Embrace who you are, and when your crush sees how much you rock He/She/They, will be all over you, and if they are not… it’s totally their loss, and you don’t need them anyway.