In this world full of young souls finding themselves and looking for someone that makes them a better person, it is expected that we sometimes fail on that task. Not everyone is a good sport, not everyone has their act together, some are real life villains. So, maybe you’ve heard about or experienced being in a relationship that didn’t feel… relationship-ish. Maybe some of these will sound familiar.
They cared less
They swore that they loved you, that you were their favorite and only person in this world… but ultimately, that was the generic speech they copied/pasted and sent to a group of people. They might have been with you for a long time, always by your side, but you never heard a truthful “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.”
Never met friends
Family aside, because we all carry different lifestyles, if you never heard a peep about their best friend, that relationship didn’t go anywhere. We all know that we talk about our crushes with our BFF’s, so if they never talked about their partner to their friends, it was like you were never there. If you heard about them, but never saw them, chances are they were imaginary. If you did get the chance to meet someone and they didn’t smile back at you while they walked by on the street, something was up.
You were never #1
Yes, you were their boo, their everything, but if there was always something even more important than you, you just had to know. Not that they had to be at your beck and call, but if you never felt #1, why did you stay with them anyway?
You didn’t feel safe
We tend to look for a partner that makes us feel better and safer, so if that person made you nervous, cringe and was always getting on your nerves, were you really safe? If that person you loved didn’t make you feel all warm, giddy and special, how did that relationship even last? Being safe should be something reciprocal, and if one person doesn’t feel that way, they won’t be able to be their partner’s safety net either.
You were best buds
We have all been warned: do not date your best friend for the wrong reasons! Some people think that engaging in a romantic relationship with your best friend would eventually damage the innocent days… If you guys had been friends forever and suddenly started dating because it “felt right”, 50% chances were that it didn’t turn out well, and now you have an ex-BFF. It might have been because you didn’t understand the feelings or because you couldn’t manage the new pressures. Kudos to the other 50% who actually manage to make this type of relationship happen!
You cried all the time
If that person had you crying yourself to sleep constantly, they were not for you, period! Yes, it’s healthy to cry and clean out the system and solve your relationship problems, but the system and relationship only needed a little bit of cleansing and fixing, not a hardcore session. Really, the relationship was over since you guys spent more time fighting, struggling or crying more than laughing and enjoying each other.
They never said your name
It’s cute when you and your bae have nicknames for each other. You just want to say it all the time! But, did they use it because they had forgotten your name? Were they afraid to say they were dating you? Honey, if they had really loved you, they would have been blurting out your whole name, drawing hearts with initials and annoying anyone around them with your beautiful, sonorous name.
They never posted about you
This might be a little cliché and millennial-ish, but cmon! If they never even tweeted something you said, you didn’t exist.We understand that some couples like their privacy and don’t like to flaunt their love online 24/7, but if you had asked them to post something or to see their social media and they said no, what were they hiding? What were they so afraid about?
They stalked their way to you
Persistence might have been cute for a while, but this person might have known more about you than what you had been telling them. Also, how did you end up in that relationship? Did they annoy you and you decided to be nice to make the interaction a bit lighter? Did you really love that person? Were you in that relationship because you felt bad for your stalker?
They broke off a previous relationship
If you dated someone that managed to break your current relationship, at the time, did they really love you? Did you really want to finish that past relationship that way? Were you ready to start dating again? Did you really wanted to date that person that made the breaking up process easier but to their advantage? That might have been manipulation…
You might have “loved” that person at the time, but that relationship was toxic and probably didn’t help you grow as a person. Although you did learn what not to look for in a person and how to recognize some symptoms of unhealthy, destructive, undeveloped and unnecessary relationships… please be grateful that you are now stronger, smarter, independent and powerful.
Remember to never be afraid to cut off a relationship that is taking you nowhere ad that doesn’t make you happy!
PD:
Message to that ex that ain’t really an ex because it doesn’t count: