While everyone has been non-stop talking about and celebrating the fact that we’re graduating in ___ days (46 from today, April 5th) I’ve been feeling many things (mostly confusion/anger) that I want to address/share with you in the form of questions and statements.
1. Where does all of this free time that my fellow seniors seem to have come from? I’m not trying to be condescending here, I genuinely don’t understand how people find the time and energy to do school, work, exercise, whatever else it is that people do and have all of this time to day drink or go out at night. Am I missing something? I’ll be walking home from my car after working a half or full day, and somehow find myself walking through a mosh pit of people day drinking and I’m just like….
….what day is it? What year is it? How are this many people able to drop whatever they were doing to drink in the middle of the day on a Wednesday?
2. Who else wants to go back and slap their freshman self for being such a jag weed student at a time when classes were SOO EASY? Have you ever been so infuriated as when you look back on how easy it would have been to build a strong GPA during those early years, compared to how easy it is now to fuck it all up? Measuring success by GPA should become a hate crime, and to stand up for what I believe in, I’m buying myself honors cords for graduation because I DESERVE THEM!!! Who’s with me?
3. Does anyone else feel physically ill every time they realize what the current date is? This gif perfectly captures my body’s reaction every time I look at the date and think about everything I have to do before May 21st.
4. What if I have to pee during the actual graduation ceremony? What if I fall asleep during Richard Haass Ph.D.’s speech? Who is Richard Haass Ph.D.? What is a Ph.D.?
5. Can everyone stop making dumb comments about finishing college? Like “you just shouldn’t graduate…make college last as long as you can” or “school doesn’t even matter anymore”. WTF? Today someone told me that by the time people get through college, everything they learned will have become irrelevant and factually incorrect.
6. Are we planning on recreating this scene from High School Musical 3 yes or no? LMK.