When I was younger, I was among those exposed to the (in)famous D.A.R.E. program (Drug Abuse Resistance Education). Every month, a local police officer would come to our fifth grade classroom and warn us about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. Being so young, all any of us could do was nod. It’s not like peer pressure was ever a serious issue in elementary school. Heck, we didn’t even know what “risky behaviors” were. Yet somehow, I was awarded the D.A.R.E. Gold Medal for my essay about the importance of drug/alcohol resistance. Pretty cool, right? It’s an insignificant feat now that I’m nearing 19, but I feel that particular experience really shaped me.
In middle and high school, I started to notice a separation in the student body. There were the ones who would go out into the woods during lunch and get high (otherwise known as the “stoners”), and then there was everyone else. Needless to say, D.A.R.E. didn’t work like it was supposed to. There was usually a positive stigma around the so called stoners, but I was always extremely uncomfortable at the thought. Nothing I’d ever learned in school or from my family made me think smoking or drinking was a good thing. At that age, I couldn’t understand for the life of me why anyone would willingly participate.
However, some of my friends understood perfectly and followed suit. There was never any pressure for me to join them, but their “risky behaviors” left me feeling disconnected– they had exclusive experiences I couldn’t relate to.
As a college student, part of my identity now lies in the fact that I do not smoke and I do not drink. My choices tend to separate me from my peers and a majority of the people in my life. For me, a good time never involves getting wasted. Am I alone in this feeling?
To clarify, I abstain not because I think people who do drink and smoke are lesser than myself, but because I fear personal consequences. I fear losing myself in chemicals that alter personalities and distort perceptions. I fear poor judgement. I fear addiction and dependence.
With all of this being said, I want my friends who do drink/smoke to know that it’s okay with me. I know many substances are typically associated with a good time, especially alcohol. I also understand that partying and getting “lit” is a huge part of college culture. It’s a choice you make for yourself, just like the one I’ve made for my life.
Just know I struggle when you tell me about how excited you are to get high over the weekend, or how often you skip class because of hangovers. I try so desperately to relate to everyone, and such stories isolate me.
I struggle sometimes, but I’m slowly learning that it’s okay not to run with the crowd on this one. Choosing to abstain from drugs/alcohol at this point in my life is an entirely personal decision, one I should never feel ashamed of.
Photo courtesy of Clip Art.