Everyone has heard the statement: “boys will be boys.” Is this a valid justification for their actions, or just an excuse that we have given boys that enables their destructive behavior?
By now, most are aware of the recent scandal with Donald Trump and his past comments about women. A lot of criticism of Trump’s actions have arisen. some are saying that this sheds light onto Donald Trump’s sexist personality, while others, including Trump, are defending his statements through stating that this is mearly “locker room banter” that men engage in when women are not around.
But does this mean that it’s okay that “all men” do this?
First, I would like to establish that NOT all men talk this way. Discussing the groping of women is a grossly immature and irresponsible way of conducting yourself, whether in private with your friends or on television. Condoning sexual assault in any form is a red flag for immaturity because “men’s” brains do not understand that women are people, not objects, and have rights just as they do; a concept that even my fifteen year old brother can comprehend.
Boys talk this way. Men do not.
However, I am not trying to deny that some “men” who engage themselves in this manner exist. They certainly exist and this is the central flaw in the argument defending Trump’s words. This notion of “locker room banter” should not be a justification for what Trump has said because the fact that there are boys masquerading as men who engage in this style of conversation is, in itself, an issue in our society. The facilitation of misogynistic behavior and the belief that we cannot do anything as a community to teach boys that this is not an acceptable way to behave is incredibly harmful to ourselves as a culture. We are creating a patriarchal world that not only allows but encourages a woman’s submission to male authority. Girls are being taught that “boys will be boys” and they cannot change this so they might as well let boys do what they want. Change is possible, and it is up to us as a community to create the change we want to see.
Instead of enabling this behavior, we need to stop uttering the phrase “boys will be boys” and instead tell our children that boys will respect others just as they want to be respected. “Locker room banter” is not a valid excuse for sexist behavior, and we shouldn’t be teaching future generations that it is.