Her Campus readers, religious followers, friends and supporters,
I am resigning from my post as Real Live College Guy, and passing the torch onto another guy for you.
In light of my leave, I’d like to leave all of you with a few final thoughts about us guys:
Be open to dates
The idea of a real date seems to be fading and losing itself in the ambiguity of “hanging out,” hooking up and changing relationship statuses. I believe everyone wants to go on a date, but we seem to be losing sight of what it actually is. If anything, though, this might be mostly the guy’s fault. Texting and “talking” has become the norms that have blurred true communication or real times to get to know each other. These mediums seem to plunge us into surface level conversation that really doesn’t allow us to get to know the other person on a personal level. Therefore, go on a date! However, before that, be open to the date. Do not immediately push a guy away because of shallow standards, but get to know him. For godsakes, say yes when he asks you out to dinner (it’s a free dinner!). I firmly believe that attraction can grow when you truly get to know a person. What better way to get to know them then some one on one face time?
Embrace the single life
It’s really not that bad. I promise. Find out what it means to just be you for a while. Discover your wants and needs before you worry about anyone else doing it for you. Build your identity as a single person not on another person. Develop your relationship with your friends and family. It’s worth it. I promise.
Have high standards (in the right way)
Before you nod your head at this point, I want you to fully understand what I mean. I mean high standards of character. Look for a guy (and be picky) who will treat you with the utmost dignity and respect (not in a high maintenance way but a courteous way). This means a chivalrous gentleman who treats you well and genuinely gets to know you. If this relationship progresses, make sure he only desires the best of you that is pushing you to be the best you can be (cheesy, I know). Basically, do not date a (insert bad word).
Be careful physically
This point can be a little sensitive and I want this be understood not as a threat nor command, but a good suggestion. In our downtown culture, it is very easy to be very physical very quickly. What concerns me though is how good that is for us. Call me old-fashioned but the way our parents did things may seem too conservative but a lot of them are very happy. All I want to suggest is to consider calming down a bit to make sure that no one is mistreating or using you for you physical attributes. It’s a shame that a guy can do that, but it happens. Sometimes people use each other for their own personal gratification. Think about maybe toning down that behavior in order to see what it means to have full control of yourself. I understand the disagreement here, so I say again, this is not a command. Be respectful of yourself.
There is no “the one”
I apologize since it is Valentine’s Day, but let me explain. There are 7.046 billion people in this world. Do we really think there is a “one” out there? Furthermore, for those who have been in a relationship, didn’t it feel like a past boyfriend/girlfriend was “the one”? I say these things not to discourage those looking for love (hey, I’m looking for love too), but to say stop worrying about whether or not your “one” will come. This idea starts building ridiculous expectations on a person that they just can’t fulfill for you. And that’s OK. People are not perfect. I think that is why we love. We look past blemishes and see someone truly special in spite of their imperfections and we LOVE them. This love requires sticking with them when they spite us or when they wrong us or when they are in a bad situation. We love them because of who they are, bad or good. This love requires a choice, not a divine, astronomical, convenient placement of a single individual that was designed for you (or, in short, “the one”).
I conclude to you today by saying one thing. All of you are special in a very peculiar and awesome way. Do not deny it, nor look for that uniqueness in another person. See it in yourself.
Goodbye everyone!
Sincerely,
Your RLCG