Every single time I go home, my dad asks me if I have a boyfriend yet. I’m sure a part of him is kidding, but the other part of him is like, “Seriously though when will you get a boyfriend?” He compares me to my sister, who is in a serious and committed relationship. It’s hard to explain to him how I’m just not ready to date anyone right now and I’m in no rush to find an SO (significant other). My dating experiences are full of awkward stories that never really went well so I decided to stop searching for bae and concentrate on why it is okay for me to be single at this point during my life.
1. You have more time to concentrate on lasting friendships
Your friends are the ones that are going to be there for you through thick and thin. They are going to be there through every heartbreak, every time something doesn’t feel right, and they will laugh with you through every awkward experience you endure. These people know you’re crazy and probably too awkward to leave the house sometimes, but they love you anyways. I go on dates with my girlfriends all the time and we have a ball. Without the distraction of a boyfriend, it’s easy to have a carefree and amazing time with people who accept you’re awkward.
2. You can concentrate on being independent
One of my personal goals is to become more independent and less reliant on other people. I just got out of a relationship where I relied on him for every little hiccup in my life. When I didn’t have him as an option to lean on anymore, it felt slightly terrifying at first to feel like I was truly alone in the world (which obviously I wasn’t). However, as these situations came up and I figured things out for myself, my self confidence increased and I realized that I didn’t need no man to figure things out and that I was a perfectly capable human being.
3. You don’t have to deal with any couple drama
You don’t want to share all your food? No problem. Being single is great, you can have a great night on the town and flirt with anyone you want to and not have to feel guilty about it when you remember your boyfriend. You don’t have to fight about wanting different things or where you want to go out to eat. You don’t have to deal with the anxiety and awkwardness of starting a new relationship and wondering where it will lead. You don’t have to fight over who’s friends you’ll be hanging out with or any of those coupley things.
4. You can invest time in figuring out who you are
Sure having a boyfriend is great, but going to college changes everything and you’re on your own for the first time in your life. You may think that you know exactly what you want to do and who you are, but college has a way of taking your world and turning it upside down. Not being distracted by boys allows you to have some quality time with yourself and figure out what carreer you may want to pursue or the qualities that you want to see in yourself. For example, I found that I really liked going to the gym and being outside. Who knows if I would have found that part of myself if I wasn’t single?
5. You can basically do whatever you want whenever you want
I’m a free woman and it feels great. I can do what I want and I don’t have to consult anyone (except for my parents, obviously), or worry about making my boyfriend unhappy. If I want to lay in bed and eat nachos all day, I most definitely will. I have the ambition and time to work on my schooling and professional goals. It’s great to have the freedom to do what I want when I want.
However, despite all these great things, a part of me feels like I’ll die an old spinster. These thoughts mean nothing, people. I have full faith that the right guy will come into my life when it’s time, so don’t any of y’all worry if you don’t have a boyfriend right now because it’s perfectly okay to be single.