One of the most iconic college experiences is the freshman year of dorm living. If you decided to skip out on this heralded tradition and rent an apartment your first year, you’ve missed out on a unifying experience that bonds all other college students. There’s something very poignant about telling your mother’s friend, who went to UF 20 years ago, that you lived in the Graham Area your freshman year and having her smile with a twinkle in her eye and say, “I had a friend who lived there!” There are certain moments of freshman dorm living that everyone (and I mean every single person) has experienced that aren’t talked about, however.
1. No matter how late it is, someone will always be in the lounge. It’s 1:30 a.m., and your roommate needs to wake up early tomorrow, so she kicked you out of your room. Since you have a paper to write but don’t want to change out of your pajamas to trek to Library West, you decide to take it to the lounge, where you’ll probably be able to work in peace and quiet, right? Well, there’s probably someone in there making a full course meal. Or Skyping her boyfriend. Or composing a new song on her guitar. Or arguing loudly with her mom on the phone and then trying to rope you into conversation with her after she dramatically hangs up.
2. That gross slimy layer that starts to develop on your shower caddy. If you’re like most, you have a plastic shower caddy with many little compartments to tote your shampoo, conditioner, body wash, shaving cream, razors and every other shower accessory to the bathroom with you. By this point in the year, you’ve also realized that the mix of soap and water and the fact that this caddy is under your bed for the most of the day results in a thin slimy layer on the plastic. It’s gross, but easy to take care of with a quick rundown of paper towels or Lysol wipes.
3. The click-clack of high heels when you’re trying to sleep is the worst noise. You’ve been stressed all week and you finally get to bed at a decent time. All you want to do is close your eyes and rest for the next 10 hours. But around 2 a.m., just as you’re drifting into the lighter part of your sleep cycle, the groups of girls coming back from their night out will start rushing back in. The sound of high heels on linoleum will be the loudest noise your mind can process, next to only the slam of the heavy doors as tired hall members forget that other people are indeed trying to sleep.
4. Something gross will happen in the bathroom, and no one will report it for a very long time. The least disgusting story I have about this topic is a toilet that got clogged while the RA was visiting home and no one bothered to tell maintenance about it. Be the good person, and when you notice something gross in the bathroom, please fill a maintenance report or, if your RA is in town, let him or her know.
5. Someone will burn something in the lounge, and it will never smell the same again. If you decide to make popcorn at an odd hour of the night while having an American Horror Story marathon, keep an eye out on that microwave and try not to get distracted by the awesomeness that is Jessica Lange… not that this ever happened to me. Nope.
6. Someone’s going to forget their keys while in the shower. Maybe it will be someone you don’t know very well and you hear about it from another girl while in the lounge. Maybe you’ll watch it happen. Maybe you’ll get a frantic text from your roommate while you’re in class and find her sitting in her robe on the couch in the lounge eating some slightly stale popcorn that was left there when you come back. Maybe it’ll be you. But it will happen. Just understand the struggle and fully accept the frantic texts while you’re stuck in class.
7. Someone will have a meltdown at 3 a.m. and it will probably be right in front of your door. She might be crying about a class, a breakup or about her roommate, who apparently turned that night into the worst night ever. It will be at some awful hour of the night, and no one will be able to talk sense into her and try to get her into one of their rooms, but she won’t listen. If it’s someone you know and care about, go out to them. Comfort them and then usher them into your room so that everyone else who’s trying to get some sleep can. If it’s someone you don’t know, just wait it out.
If these experiences sound unfamiliar and unpleasant, then you’ve probably escaped the freshman year experience. But if you’re smiling and nodding, then you’re part of a tradition that will continue on. Pass on the knowledge to your younger sisters and friends and keep it going strong.