Selfie Sunday. Man Crush Monday. Transformation Tuesday. Something about Instagram makes even the most camera-shy individual indulge in narcissistic selfies and over-documented, mundane breakfasts. Over the years, the following cliché posts have cluttered up our news feeds, and I must say: I think we’re ready for them to stop. Here are the seven deadly sins of Instagram as demonstrated by yours truly!
1. Starbucks For Days
Maybe at some point in time, during the early infancy of Instagram, this was cool. But, like all good things, its hipster-esque appeal has come to an end. We all know what a frappuccino looks like. You don’t have to show us with the enhancement of the X-Pro filter.
2. Lookin’ like Lord Voldemort
This is a common result of layering on too may filters to hide that one pimple on your face that no one would’ve noticed anyway. Let’s be real though… A nose-less, overly whitened face is much more noticeable than a teeny dot. It just looks a little creepy and too reminiscent of our favorite mythical villain.
3. The “Duckface, Peace Sign, High Angle” Triple Threat
How many BuzzFeed articles and memes will it take to convince people to stop? Duck faces do not make you look more attractive, and the super high angle just looks awkward. And what’s the point of throwing up that peace sign? Is this selfie really going to lead to world peace? Probably not.
4. Kelvin Filter
What’s the point of even having this filter? Does anyone know? It somehow manages to make food look the most unappetizing, skin look the most blemished, and lighting look the most unflattering. Unless you’ve managed to discover some magical way of using this filter effectively, you probably shouldn’t even try it.
5. Bathroom Selfie
No amount of Nashville filter or hand-on-hip action can make this classy. Let’s just leave it at that. Bonus points for toothpaste splattered mirrors or an open toilet stall in the background.
6. Love You Boo
Unless this conversation is literally laugh-out-loud hilarious or relevant to all of your Insta followers, please don’t post screenshots of romantic text message conversations with your significant other. Yes, you’re in a relationship, and we’re all happy for you. But there’s not really much we can contribute to this other than an extremely halfhearted “Aw you two are so cute.”
7. #NoMakeup #NoFilter #JustWokeUp
There’s nothing to be ashamed of when you’re having a great hair or makeup day. Own it! But don’t insult all of your followers’ intelligence by claiming that you just rolled out of bed with impeccable lipstick, eyeliner, and a halo of light around your head. We’d almost rather you put a Taylor Swift lyric as your caption instead of these tags… Almost.