If you were prepared to read an analysis of the male gluteals, close this tab now. I am referring to balls of hair atop men’s heads. You’ve seen them. This trend has been heating up for some time now, but has finally reached a rolling boil, setting off fire alarms in many women’s hearts.
I’ll simmer down with the kitchen metaphors and get down to the bread and butter. Here are five reasons why the Man Bun is sexy.
1. They’re simultaneously wild and tame. The rugged primality of long hair is harnessed in an elastic band, preventing the unruly tangling of luscious locks on breezy days. The dude on the left is bristling with stray hairs and regret.
2. Chris Hemsworth has one. Due to this hair style, Chris hits it even more than Thor’s hammer.
3. They show you’re a busy man. Why’d you tie back that hair? Are you coming back from yoga? About to hike some exotic terrain? Or clearing your field of vision before delving into hours of soulful songwriting?
4. They can surprise you. A simple turn of the head can reveal the cranial craftsmanship that distinguishes average hair from the Man Bun.
5. They clean up nicely. A Man Bun is sexy whether it’s paired with a tattered V-neck or crisp tux. This guy may have been climbing trees barefoot just hours ago and you’d never know if it weren’t for his vaguely disgruntled expression.