“Dude, that test raped me. Seriously.” We’ve all heard these types of jokes using the word “rape” casually and as a form of humor and sarcasm. Rape jokes are all around us. They’re used constantly and commonly, as though rape is something to take lightly and joke about freely. Here’s why rape is never okay to joke about.
You don’t know if you’re around someone who has been sexually assaulted, and joking about rape could be a trigger for them.
Statistics show that one in four college aged women will experience sexual assault, as will one in seventeen college aged men. It’s nearly impossible to get through college without meeting someone who has encountered unwanted sexual advances or behaviors unless you’re sitting in your room all day, so be aware of your audience. Chances are, a sexual assault survivor is not going to find your rape joke funny. Many won’t say anything out of discomfort or shock, but that joke usually ends up being internalized. Some survivors will feel their experiences are not taken seriously by whoever is making the joke, and will be reminded of the trauma they endured for far longer than you remember that you even remembered the punchline.
You could be validating a rapist you don’t realize is hearing your joke.
You may not realize it, but a rapist could be hearing your joke. A recent study by the University of North Dakota found that 31% of the seventy three college-attending, heterosexual male participants would force a woman to have sex without consent if there would be no consequences. The study also showed that when rephrasing the word rape into actions instead, such as forcing oneself upon someone who is unconscious or unwilling, some of these same men actually admitted to having committed rape.
Your rape joke could be validating a rapist and their deplorable actions, and you wouldn’t even know it.
When you use rape in a joke, you more than likely don’t mean the dictionary definition of rape.
Rape is defined by dictionary.com as “unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.” I’m pretty sure that exam didn’t actually rape you, so maybe try using a thesaurus for the word you’re actually looking for.
There’s nothing funny about rape. Ever.
Rape and sexual assault of any kind is one of the most traumatic things a person can endure. After going through something that changes a person’s identity, self esteem, mental state, and entire world, the last thing that could ever be appropriate is to make a joke about it.