Odds are, if you’re single and in college, the #1 go-to question relatives ask you is: “so, are you dating anyone?“
Unless you’re in a long-distance relationship with your high school sweetheart or fall into the small percentage of college students in committed relationships (27% according to the Journal of Developmental Psychology, 2013), you’re single.
But don’t fret; there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not the only one.
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In fact, according to a recent study by the American Psychological Association, 1 in 3 college seniors have been on fewer than two dates. This is a reflection of the “IDC” (or, I don’t care) culture of today. In other words, a culture that glorifies being ~chill~ whether it’s with friendships or romance. Rather than express how we truly feel, we avoid transparency in fear of being perceived as sensitive or clingy. There’s a reason people say they’re talking to someone as opposed to dating or seeing them.
Of course, committed relationships in college haven’t been obliterated (take it from someone whose friends are all in relationships), but casual hookups have become an active sub-culture of college life. Most people don’t expect to be asked out after hooking up with someone and are more likely to receive a text or snap (maybe).
What once meant dinner and a movie on a Friday night has been reduced to Tinder matches, casual hookups, DFMO’s [dance floor make-outs], and 2:00 AM “wyd” texts. We’re more likely to have ‘almost lovers’: the sparks that show up and for a while, give us some hope. But then, for one reason or another, these dissipate; we break our snap streaks, eventually delete their numbers, and awkwardly wave or avoid eye contact when we see them EVERYWHERE on campus.
College dating is…complicated. In fact, if I had to pick a Facebook relationship status for the majority of the college student population, it would be just that: “it’s complicated.”
On that note, being single isn’t the worst. Personally, I like the freedom that comes with being on your own and having more personal time for self-growth and exploration. Just because you’re single now, doesn’t mean you’ll always be or that you’ll end up a crazy cat lady. Give yourself a break and take a deep breath. You might find your future SO tomorrow in the library, for all you know.
Don’t let loneliness or the fear of never finding the one lower your expectations; don’t settle for less. Instead, focus on being the best possible version of yourself- intelligent, powerful, confident, and beautiful. Remember, you are…
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