Dear Instagram users who hashtag their photos with the corresponding day of the week,
This, my friends, is a reality check. The weekly “trend” of religiously hashtagging your “instapics” has got to go. I appreciate the reminder of what day it is, as I lay in bed, usually hung-over, as I scroll through the excessive amount of posts on my Instagram feed, but let’s be real, these picture day hashtag’s are completely unnecessary and exasperating. I, for one, don’t give a rat’s booty on who you’re “man/woman crushing” on “transforming“ into or “flashbacking” on, whether it be this week, last week, or next week. Please, just make it stop.
#ManCrushMonday really just starts the week off with a bang. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m single and bitter and have no man to #ManCrushMonday, but this hashtag, usually accompanied with the lovey dovey picture, just screams vom.com. Yes, vom as in vomit. It especially pushes my buttons, and I’m not talking about the “like” button, when the couple has literally been dating for maybe a week. Like aw you really love each other after seven days, that’s cute.
#TransformationTuesday continues to get out of hand as the weeks persist. No, I don’t want to see a picstich of what you looked like in the most awkward stage of your existence, compared to today. Once women were introduced to make-up and curling irons, and men, gym memberships and protein shakes, there is obviously going to be a transformation. You are no longer enduring your middle school brace-face and acne days, so of course, anything compared to that hot mess will make you look 10x hotter. #TransformationTuesday posts also throw a curve ball every blue moon (but obviously only on Tuesday’s), with your fit friend followers, you know the ones that also hashtag #eatcleantraindirty? I’m talking about the posts of a before and after revolutionizing picstich. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no bodybuilder myself, trust me, but those are just not okay.
#WomanCrushWednesday is usually when males, but also the occasional female, posts a picture of a gal they find attractive or admire. It’s ultimately the same objective as the #ManCrushMonday posts, but with a “wo” in front of man, aka woman. The sappy male species whom drool over their girlfriends are the culprits of this Wednesday photo hashtag. Not to mention the males and females who post pictures of Victoria Secret Angels, and Sports Illustrated models. Sorry dudes, but the same rules apply to you as previously mentioned to the dudettes who post #ManCrushMonday posts.
#ThrowbackThursday definitely takes the cake as the most “trending” hashtag on any given Thursday. These posts are of pictures ranging from anything as old as a baby picture, to a picture someone took the day before but never posted so they decided to “throw it back” to yesterday and use it as a #tbt. The most played-out, over used, super uncomfortable #tbt are the posts sporting a picture of a single sperm cell. It’s bound to blow up my Instagram feed at least once a week, and by week I mean Every. Single. Thursday. If you’re going to post a #ThrowbackThursday, do us all a favor and at least post a picture of your face.
#FlashBackFriday is pretty much the same function as a #throwbackthursday, but for peeps who procrastinate and miss #tbt, or didn’t know which pic to post so they post a different one for each day. It’s a time to reminisce on your past, but quite honestly, no one wants to see your past, so just keep it in your photos album on your phone for your personal use only, please and thank you.
#SelfieSaturday/#SelfieSunday, depending on what day you look best, is when you post a picture, that you filtered and edited the sh*t out of. They’re usually really unfortunate to lay your eyes on, but it always ends up happening. The close ups with the duck face are a personal fav, and by fav I mean nightmare. Keep the selfies for SnapChat so I can keep my breakfast down and peacefully continue on for the rest of my day.
This social media hastagging fad is spiraling out of control and someone needs to put an end to it. I don’t need to know every week for the rest of my existence your “crushes”, “transformations”, or “throwbacks.” Unfortunately, I don’t know who the creator of this “trend” is, but I do know they have a special place in h-e-double hockey sticks.