At first, I though this topic might be a little daunting, or that I was being too transparent, but those are some of the very things I want to be as a writer. One who is not afraid to speak her mind. So, I bring you this topic of growing pains. When you enter your twenties your relationship with your parents is going to change drastically. You THOUGHT that being a teenager was tough, but millenials have it even harder. Whether you decided to venture off to college, into the workforce, stay at home, or away, you and your parents are not the same people anymore, and depending on what your relationship was already like, these may be trying times. For me, going to college allowed me to see many different people from different cultures and backgrounds. What I heard and still hear a lot is that everyone was not raised the same, and that is a fact. Now, my relationship with my mom and step dad was not the greatest, and I did what I think every teenager does and developed the worst attitude imaginable (could have just been me though). I was a spoiled, straight A student, and only child, and I thought I deserved the world, but I did not dare ask for it. It was rare that I got in trouble, and when I did it was typical dumb, testing-the-waters, I can’t even remember why I did that stuff, but overall I was a great kid (my mom actually said that). The problem that I did not realize I had with my parents, my mom mainly, did not surface until my late teens. I am an introvert by nature, which may shock some people, so I don’t really necessarily have or want to talk to people. I was always the “quiet one” in grade school. I’ve only grown and learned that if I want to be someone in this world I can’t be weird and not talk to people. However, this became a problem with my mom and I. We never talked. Not even small talk some occasions. As an introvert I didn’t feel the need to communicate outside of my basic needs. This of course hurt me more than it helped. My mom also was (and still) is not the best communicator. But, I was always the one who was made to feel like something was wrong with ME because WE could not communicate with each other. And it was even more so worse when she was angry. I had stopped being punished physically long ago, but the things my mother said to me while she was upset were hurtful. I’m black, so I understand we all have our stories of the things our parents said to us, and may even laugh, or claim we’re better people for it. It was honestly not until being in college and growing up some that I saw the errors in both of my parents’ choices in how they raised me. These are things that you won’t see until you are a little older, and while I thought I may have had things all figured out as a teenager, which was mainly sass; I know a little better now. Sometimes, as much as we love them, our parents are wrong. Whether you decide to have THIS conversation with them to share your thoughts, however, is totally up to you because that truth hurts. I love my parents, dearly, and I do believe I’ll be a better person because of how I was raised. I intend to do things with my own children a bit differently. But now my parents get to start all over again with my triplet sisters.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UAB chapter.