It is not always easy to lose a friend or loved one, but, in time, you begin to live with the idea of not having them around. I have lost many people in my life, but there is one loss that I will never be able to overcome. It has been years, and I still have only told a handful of people about this.
When I was in high school, I was pregnant. No, it was not the ideal option for my life, but it happened and I was going to go through with it. I had the support of my friends, but I could not find it in me to tell my family.
Growing up in a family that is Catholic, being pregnant without being married is frowned upon. I had no idea whether or not my family would be fine or would throw me out.
To be honest, I don’t think it was ever about them accepting me, but me accepting what had happened. I was always the good student, straight A’s, and never being problematic. How do you go from that, to the “teen mom?”
Of course I had options, adoption or abortion. I could never give up my baby, and, although I am pro-choice, I would never personally do that. I was a little over two months when it happened, I didn’t even know what was going on. I was in my 3rd period class when I felt something weird, the next thing I knew I was bleeding. I excused myself quickly and ran out of the class. I ran straight to the clinic we had at school. Once I got inside, I started to cry.
I knew I was too young to be a mom, but I still didn’t want what had just happened. They excused me from my classes for the rest of the day, and had me speak to a counselor. It doesn’t get any easier talking about something like this, but there are so many women that go through the same experiences.
After this happened to me, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I stayed to myself, and I let my grades drop. It took me years of talking to counselors, to finally accept what I had gone through. Here I am, 10 years later, and still trying to overcome this experience. I still haven’t told my family about this event in my life, but in time I hope to be able to come out and say it.
It isn’t easy going through this, especially not when you go through it alone. There is always someone you can talk to who will not judge and will help you get through it. I was lucky to have had my best friend and a counselor around when this happened, but if I hadn’t, who knows where I would be right now.
There are a lot of resources if you ever need to talk to someone, if you have gone through something like this. Know that there is always someone, just a phone call away.
University Counseling Center
Hours of Operation:
Monday – Friday
8:00 am – 5:00 pm
Phone: 307-766-2187
Planned Parenthood Hotline
Phone: 800-230-7526