There are few things that I regret in life: taking organic chemistry part 2, putting my jeans in the dryer and drinking questionable milk, but nothing can compare to these fashion faux pas. I’m talking about the ones that you do a double take, the ones you secretly snapchat to your best friends, the ones that, despite every effort, you cannot “un-see”. And while you may look at an outfit or an article of clothing and say “out of all the things in the store, you picked, that?”, just remember, at some point in time, it was considered chic. People that rocked these trends were, dare I say, revered. As you scroll down the list, I challenge you to keep from cringing and throwing away whatever device you are reading this on. If you make it to the end, I salute you.
10. Hi- Low Dresses
Here is a classic case of an outfit that is trying to be too many things. It is confused and does not remotely flatter anyone. Is it long? Is it short? No one really knows the answer, but one thing is for certain: it looks terrible.
9. Skorts
Let’s lump this is in with the hi-lo dresses, shall we? A skort is the hallmark of commitment issues. You couldn’t pick between a skirt and shorts so you picked both. Hint: both is never the answer. Unless you are on the tennis court please leave the skort at home, or better yet – burn it with the hi-lo dress.
8. Layering tank tops, polo shirts, etc.
Throwing it way back to elementary school with this one, and hopefully it stays there. The multitude of colours and layers makes us feel like a cake, more than anything else. As for the layered polos, if you popped your collar, I have no words for you.
7. DC skater shoes
Our second tribute to the carefree days of elementary school. If you were “cool” you wore skater shoes with the skinniest of jeans. The transition from something so tight to a shoe that literally ate your foot is a difficult proportion to for the eye to take in, simply because it does not make sense. These were typical for those “wannabe skater” teens that ironically never had a board in sight.
6. Fedoras
So you are a starving musician, painter, writer, sculptor and you’re going to make it big…eventually. How do you show the world this? With a fedora. The hat found its way into the mainstream and exploded. Though, I will never understand why, rest assured that the fedora has found its way back to the dark corners of the internet and can only be seen on abandoned myspace profile pages (at least, I sincerely hope).
5. T-shirts with the brand name splashed all over them
Why look at a billboard when you could just be one? T-shirts with logos branded on the chest are usually overpriced pieces of 100% cotton that scream “look at me and my expensive t-shirt”. Thankfully, this trend seems to have come and gone, and society has adopted a more subtle form of advertising, like girls flocking from all directions to smell a man with a certain cologne on or a shirtless man travelling through various scenarios and never donning on a shirt at any time. (I’m looking at you Axe and Old Spice).
4. Wool Socks
Wool socks can’t be bashed too much, because they do have a valid function. This is Canada and these can be considered a basic necessity. However, why do we need to see them and better yet why are they being worn with sandals?
3. Leggings and Shorts
A final tribute to the elementary school days, leggings and shorts were an ingenious way to wear ridiculously short shorts to school and “get away” with it. While the extra coverage allowed us to breeze past the principle’s office, a far greater transgression was being committed. The very combination of leggings and shorts is a travesty, and looking back on those photos we almost wish the principle had banned them so we wouldn’t feel so much regret when reliving the nostalgia.
2. Juicy Couture Track Suits
If you weren’t cringing before, you should be now. These pastel velour monstrosities are the reason behind several therapist visits and recurring nightmares. The velvet-like material with the trademark “Juicy” plastered on the seat of the pants was incredibly suggestive and basically translates to “insert peach emoji here”. The only thing juicy about this outfit was…. nope, I have nothing. It was just all around terrible, and should be relegated to Halloween costumes and botox using Californian Housewives.
1. Crocs
Last, but not least -crocs. This is the epitome of fashion regret. I don’t even know where to start- the holes in the shoes or the hideous animal inspired design. The fact that these were mass produced and distributed globally should be considered one of the seven wonders of the world. Crocs exploded all over North America, anyone and everyone was wearing them, and loved them. They came in every colour that consumers could ever want or need, making them all the more accessible. Thankfully, crocs came and went, but when I see their remnants laying around at a friend’s house or at the odd garden center I still shudder and think back to a time where people wore plastic crocodiles on their feet and thought it was socially acceptable.
If you fell victim to any of these trends, note that all hope is not lost. You can still redeem yourself by ensuring that these items never grace your closet again. But one thing is for sure, you would find me retaking organic chemistry part 2 and enrolled in organic chemistry part 3 with a smile on my face before you found me wearing a pair of crocs.
Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10