There he is, standing next to the dance floor. Who is he? Whoever he is, he is HOT. You want to talk to him, but chances are you’re too shy to do so. Even if you have the confidence to approach him, you’re probably wondering, “What will he think?” This is a problem that many college girls face, and that’s why I, along with two college guys, am here to help!
Since these are my own tips for approaching guys, I asked one shy guy and one outgoing guy to evaluate my methods. Our resident shy guy, Brandt Rosentreter, is a freshman in the University of Michigan College of Engineering, and our outgoing guy, Max Kahn, is a freshman in the University of Michigan Honors Program. So, before you head out to that big party this weekend, check out these tips:
Tip #1: Is he with anyone you know? If the answer is yes, go up to your mutual friend and say, “Hey!” After making small talk with the friend, introduce yourself to the rest of the group! Most of the time, guys are happy to make new friends, especially when those new friends are girls. The worst that could happen is that they aren’t very friendly. Either way, you won’t be obvious about wanting to talk to that one guy in particular, but you can still approach him. If the guys are friendly and invite conversation, ask that cute guy some questions! Learn about his major, interests, and where he’s from. This small talk will likely lead to a bigger conversation—and maybe even a dance!
Brandt: “That’s normal.”
Max: “I very rarely would not engage in conversation.”
Tip #2: Is he with a group of guys you don’t know? If you’re the bold type, go up to them and introduce yourself. I’m notorious in my sorority for going up to large groups of guys just to “break up the testosterone” and make new friends. My philosophy is that if you’re at a party, you want to meet new people. This approach almost always works—I’ve made some good friends this way! You’ll come off as friendly, not creepy, and you might even make some new pals!
Brandt: “I mean, yeah, I’d engage in conversation, but I’d probably be thinking in the back of my mind that it’s a little weird. You don’t really see girls that just walk up to multiple guys. I’ve never seen a girl do that when I’ve been with a group of guys.”
Max: “I’d definitely talk, but I would think that she’s putting out.”
Tip #3: Not all of you will go for this tip, but it’s a personal favorite of mine: Confidently approach the guy and just flat-out tell him that he’s cute. That’s it. You can walk over, say that you just wanted to let him know that he’s gorgeous, smile, and walk back to your friends. Even if he’s not interested in you, he’ll be flattered, and it will keep him smiling for the rest of the evening! If he is interested, don’t worry—he’ll find a way to talk to you.
Brandt: “It’d probably boost my ego, and then if I were attracted to her, I’d probably find her again. If I weren’t attracted to her, I probably just wouldn’t find her. I wouldn’t think it’s creepy.”
Max: “My first response would be, ‘Good call!’ or ‘Nice taste!’ If they were attractive, then I’d go find them; if they weren’t, I probably just wouldn’t find them again.”
Tip #4: Do NOT go up to him and tell him that he “looks familiar.” It’s one thing to have the confidence to tell the guy that he’s cute, but this line is completely overused. If anything, it makes you appear to lack the confidence to talk to him, and that is not the message you want to convey!
Max: “That’s just overthinking it—guys aren’t going to think like that. It’s going to be either that they talked to me or that they didn’t, and I wouldn’t go that in depth to think that they lack confidence.”
Brandt: “If she just comes up and says I look familiar, and don’t know why, I’d be like, ‘I’m pretty sure I don’t know you,’ and then if she is still persistent and isn’t attractive, I’d be like, ‘I definitely don’t know you,’ and if she was still persistent, I’d probably engage in conversation and pull the ‘I have to go to the bathroom’ or ‘I have a girlfriend’ card and never find her again. If she’s cute, I’d talk to her. Men are very simple.”
When I asked the boys if they had any final words, Brandt said, “If he’s not attracted to you, he’s not going to talk to you.” It just so happened that one of our Campus Cuties, Sean Pradhan, overheard my question, and he decided to contribute: “Most of the time, an outgoing girl is more attractive than an introverted girl.”
So, there you have it: your guide to approaching that cute boy at the party. Just make sure that, whatever approach you use, you do it with confidence. What’s the worst that could happen? Good luck, girls!