There have been ongoing criticisms about dating in college, or the lack there of. Dating has become a foreign concept to most college students and many don’t understand why. Some girls just like to believe that guys have evolved into lazy, cheap a**holes that don’t want to take a girl out anywhere. The fact is that guys and girls haven’t changed, but our culture has.
We live in a hook-up culture where sexuality is booming and everyone is consumed with sex appeal. Sex is everywhere; it’s on billboards in the streets, on the television shows we watch, and in every magazine we read. A couple decades ago, you would never see this. Sure, everyone has always been having sex, but it was something that no one spoke about. Now, casual sex is no longer considered taboo, but is accepted, loved and thriving within the college community.
Through this sexuality revolution, it has become more socially “acceptable” for women to have casual sex just as men do. Women are more likely to have sex with men easier than they did decades ago. We have seemed to catch a sort of power high from the fact that we are independent and strong. Why can’t women sleep around like guys do? This phrase has become engrained within our minds and expressed through our behavior. However, how much power do we actually have? It is already known that women can enjoy casual sex too, but in what sense? Women that are looking for a relationship should probably not engage in casual sex. You must evaluate your feelings after having sex. Did you develop feelings for the guy? How do you feel about yourself? It is important to understand what you truly want because you might think you want one thing when in reality you want something else. We sometimes think that we just want casual sex, but that can change shortly after we actually have sex with a guy when expectations begin to arise. Many women don’t understand why guys that they sleep with don’t have a desire to take them out on a date or just hang out in general.
The reality is that casual sex has killed dating. If you sleep with a guy immediately after meeting them, they are not going to want to date you. This doesn’t mean that they don’t think you are a cool person, but it just means that they already got what they needed. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? Why would they feel the need to take you out if they know they can already get sex from you? However, there is another problem to this paradox: sex has become easier to get than it used to be. This change has shifted guys’ expectations of what they get out of hooking up with a girl. Now, guys expect sex from girls more and know that they can get it easily. Even before they have sex with a girl, they know what they are truly after. If they won’t or can’t get it from you, then they will get it from someone else. So what can we do? Well, there’s really only one thing you can do.
Girls, we need to take back our power. If you like a guy, grasp his attention and don’t hook up with him right away. Reel him in and make him question you. The mystery that used to fuel the lust and desire has been completely removed from the situation. This is not considered “playing games” because it is an innate tendency that we have. We are born with the drive to question the unknown. It tempts and motivates our inner craving for the mystery of life. We work to educate ourselves in order to have a career, which will fulfill our individual purposes in life. The same concept applies to sex. We want to explore the mystery and be challenged to uncover it. When sex is given up initially, then the mystery is already solved. Casual sex is carefree and fun, so if that’s what you want, go for it! Just understand the nature of the situation and don’t expect that next morning text.