Winter break: A well deserved long break where we can enjoy our friends from home, our dogs and our beds. Yet among all of these things to look forward to there is one thing every college student returning home dreads: the awkward extended family trying to make polite conversation at family gatherings. They try, but unfortunately you just are not close enough to your uncle for them to really have any idea about what is actually going on in your life. So in order to try and help you get through that painful holiday dinner, here are a few foolproof answers to get you out of some of the most common/boring questions you are guaranteed to get during this upcoming vacation.
DISCLAIMER: All of these answer require a big fake smile and LOTS of nodding.
“So how is school going?”
What you want to say- “Well I haven’t seen anything other than a computer screen and bottles of vodka for about three weeks now. But I’m proud of myself for only having five real mental breakdowns, for making it through each day only crying once, and somehow managing to pass that gen ed that I only went to three times all semester.”
What you should say- “Things are going well, I really enjoyed my classes this semester, but I am looking forward to a fresh start in January.”
“Have you met anyone?” (or any variation of this question)
What you want to say- “Well, I was talking to this guy and like I thought we were a thing because we always talk at the bars and I always somehow manage to wake up in his bed on Fridays, but then like during the week he never texts me and when I do see him I see that he is Snapchatting all of these other girls and it’s so annoying.”
What you should say- “I am really taking this time to be independent and do my own thing.”
“What do you want to do after graduation?”
What you want to say- “I HAVE NO F**KING IDEA. Grad school is hard but also no one wants to hire me soooo….”
What you should say- “I’m still exploring my options.” (Then exit quickly. Simple is best on this one.)
“Are you taking care of yourself?”
What you want to say- “If you count living off of coffee, bagles, and vodka sodas with a splash of cran, then yes.”
What you should say- “Of course, my roommates and I cook together all the time!”
Best of luck and Happy Holidays collegiates!
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