Last semester was full of changes I hadn’t entirely prepared for. Relationships ended, my style changed, and essentially, the way I viewed the world, as well as myself, changed too. I decided for once in my life, I was going to be exactly who I wanted to be. I decided to stop fitting into the mold of what I thought others wanted me to be and decided to make a conscious effort to do things to make myself happy. For the first time in my life, I decided to be a little selfish.
When I say selfish, I do not mean I started disregarding the feelings of others, but I decided to make myself happy first. This all started when I finally decided to take the courage to change my major to what I am truly passionate about: creative writing.
When I decided to attend the University of Arkansas, I came in as an English major with a concentration in creative writing, in the hopes to one day become a teacher with the ability to inspire others to love literature as much as I do—but as soon as I made that decision, I was immediately met with some roadblocks. Although my family was completely supportive of my dream, my “smarter” peers were not. I can’t remember a day when I didn’t enter my high school AP Government class without the group of some of the smartest kids in my high school making fun of me for being an English major. They called it “useless” and that I would never get anywhere in my life. Although they claimed they were kidding, I began to question whether or not it was useful at all.
Looking back, I realize how detrimental that was to my spirit as a writer. Essentially, I viewed it as an attack on the one thing I loved most in the world, the one thing I wanted to completely dedicate my life to. So, instead of riding out the immature high school teasing, I caved, and changed my major to the most reasonable thing I could think of that still fit within my skills set: Journalism: Advertising/Public Relations. My mom worked in PR, so maybe I would be able to do the same.
It wasn’t until this school year that I seriously began questioning whether or not I really wanted a degree in Journalism. I took my first class for my major and absolutely hated it, and I realized, I didn’t want to dedicate my time to something I would loathe. So finally, after some careful consideration, I made the change back to what I was truly passionate about, and I have never been happier.
Although it seems trivial, it can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that people may not see what you love as something particularly useful. Most of the time when I tell others my major, I’m immediately met with a harsh, “Well what are you going to do with that?” kind of question, and at times it can be infuriating.
But I have decided, despite any of the misunderstanding, I am headed on the right path. I want to inspire others with the art of writing and I want others to feel different emotions when they read my creative pieces. Though sadly, I have heard from many of my friends that they hate their majors and that their only goal is to make a ton of money.
Money may be important, and trust me, I would like to be filthy rich as much as the next person, but that’s not my priority. And you know what, it shouldn’t be yours either. Once you find something you’re truly passionate about, the universe will make a way for you to accomplish those things, so long as you’re hardworking and diligent enough to stick with it. You much rather make less money and be happy than dedicate your life to a job you resent.
This sounds like cliché advice, but I have learned so much about myself in these changes. I have learned self-acceptance and gained a thicker skin. You have to make yourself happy first, and if that includes changing your plan, then do it! As one of my favorite teachers said, “the joy of life is in the journey”, so have the courage to cultivate your passions and change things to make youself happy.
Sources: iwantcovers.com, gutisthekey.com, pinterest.com