It is fantastic to have to the family together for a day full of snoopy blimps, good football, and copious eating on Thanksgiving. At the beginning of the day, your family is still catching up—happy to have you home for the weekend. You have fun, remembering how much you missed your parents and siblings and maybe even distant relatives. Yet after a few hours, the crazy side of your family you almost forgot exists makes its awkward appearance.
Here are some situations that are nearly inevitable:
1. How’s school? Are your classes going well?
This is where you smile and say, “My classes are great, I’m doing just fine!” and hope your mom can’t see the pain in your eyes from the C you made on your PoliSci midterm. You know how expensive school is and how much that C costs! You’ll make it up by writing a bomb research paper, so there’s no need to worry your parents by admitting you wasted your time watching Bob’s Burgers when you should’ve been studying.
2. *Off hand remark about how you look like you’ve been hitting the dining halls a little too hard*
~stuffs face with mashed potatoes anyways~
3. What do you want to do after college?
I haven’t even declared my major yet stop making me so nervous about not having my life together. Maybe I’ll become Donald Trump’s protégé, or be a professional, full time golden retriever (both very respectable careers)? Don’t worry parents, I assure you the mountain of money you spent on my education will be put to good use.
4. How’s your love life? Are you dating anyone?
I got this question by none other than my dad last Thanksgiving. Do you really want to know about my love life? What if this segues in to a in deep conversation about college hook up culture?! Cover your ears, Grandmamma Ty: our post-sexual revolution world might frighten your conservative southern Baptist self.
5. You know, I had your mother at 20! You should really be finding a man to settle down with!
Grandmother I don’t even remember the last time I washed my sheets: I am not adult enough to marry a man, much less have children! Get back to me in 15 years, when I hopefully have at least a career.
6. Your uncle makes one of his offensive comments about a social justice issue and makes everyone really uncomfortable.
Its 2015, Uncle Steve. Gay marriage is a thing that people are really in to, institutionalized racism is not just some liberal hoopla, Obama did not single-handedly ruin America, and women and people of color are still not equal to white men in the working world. (But you can’t actually call him out on this so you avoid the conversation by shoving a whole lot of pumpkin pie in your mouth.)
Recommendation:
Survive awkward dinner table conversations by making the most impressive food baby you’ve ever had. Achieve a food coma to avoid more conversation.
Not making it home for Thanksgiving? Check out our tips for hosting Friendsgiving!
Photo Sources:
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