Let me start off by saying that there is no such thing as the “perfect boyfriend.” Relationships take work, and if you aren’t willing to put forth the effort, your relationship will crash and burn as quickly as you can change your Facebook relationship status back to “single.” But don’t get discouraged! It is possible to find a guy at college who is just right for you. Here are four tips for finding a boyfriend at school:
Finding Yourself Leads to Finding Him
What do you love about yourself? What are you good at?
If you don’t know the answer to those questions, you may not be ready for a serious college relationship. In the December issue of Glamour, cover girl J-Lo is quoted saying, “Until you love yourself enough, you can’t have a healthy relationship.” I couldn’t agree with her more. You cannot expect someone to love you if you don’t even know who you are or what there is to love about you.
Find out what is awesome and unique about you. The best way to do this is to find something that you are passionate about and get involved. When you are doing something that you truly love, you will shine and this will naturally attract people to you.
For example, I met my boyfriend doing something that I am passionate about: acting. We played opposite each other as the romantic leads in a play. It didn’t matter that our characters were in love (although it certainly didn’t hurt!); we initially bonded over our mutual love of acting.
Only Fools Rush In
Of course, having one thing in common is not enough of a foundation to start a relationship. I wouldn’t recommend jumping into a relationship with the first guy you share a hobby with. Lots of guys share my love of theatre and acting, but that doesn’t mean we would be compatible. Spend time together to get to know one other. Sometimes that initial attraction can be overwhelming, making it easy to overlook incompatibilities.
Keep An Open Mind
“The one” might be hiding in an unexpected place. Don’t dismiss a guy just because he isn’t exactly what you pictured for yourself.
For instance, I never imagined myself with someone who plays video games—the mere mention of them makes my eyes glaze over. But the fact that my boyfriend plays video games isn’t exactly a bad thing. I’ve learned that it’s good to have separate hobbies and interests because it gives us things that we can do exclusively with our friends. Time apart can actually help bring couples closer together.
Avoid the Cling Factor
One of the biggest mistakes a girl can make once she likes a guy is to obsess over him and give him too much attention—that can be a huge turn off, especially to guys in college. Most guys are into the chase, so if you are always in his face, you don’t give him a chance to miss you. Don’t always be the first one to text him with plans. Let him do some of the work! If he’s into you, trust me, you’ll know.