At lunch the other day, I opened my phone to an unexpected text: “Hey, it’s Rob* from the bar last night. What’s up?”
Naturally, I had the urge to do what any collegiette would do in my position—open my browser, log on to Facebook, and stalk away. The only problem—I don’t have Facebook. Yes, I am non-existent in the social media world, denied of any connection with the world outside my own little bubble. Focusing on my own life instead of scrolling through the seemingly endless photos of high school acquaintances holding red solo cups has been rewarding these last few months, but what’s a collegiette to do when she has no idea who she just agreed to meet up with for dinner and drinks??
I decided it would be worth a shot, what could go wrong, right? With each day approaching, I became more anxious. Who exactly is this guy? Was I really supposed to rely on our text message exchange as a basis for knowing who he really is? Google was hopeless—the only search term I could come up with was: Rob from Lawrenceville* (Ridiculous? Yes. Desperate? Absolutely.) How am I supposed to know how gorgeous his ex is? How do I know that his ex-girlfriend is in fact, his ex-girlfriend? How can I get my friends’ approval without scrolling through old spring break photos and noting the number of likes on his profile pictures? How can I form any sort of emotional connection without reading his deepest and most intimate status updates???
Before I knew it, it was Saturday at 7:00 p.m. and I was waiting for him to pick me up. I couldn’t even remember what he looked like to be honest (lucky for me, I was pleasantly surprised). Dinner was a bit awkward at first—we were faced with a daunting task that not many college students face these days—we had to get to know each other. We started with the most basic of all basic questions: “So…where are you from?” “What do you do?” And my personal favorite: “What’s your last name?”
Long story short, it ended up being a great night. This date was the most genuine I’ve ever been on because there was no pretending. Let’s be honest, if you read a Mumford & Sons lyric on your date’s status update, you would probably be more inclined to force an obsession with Mumford and each and every one of his sons. Or maybe seeing a picture of your date at a Giants game would sway you to spew out some football stats you happened to catch on your morning commute. But on this date, none of that was a possibility because we lacked pre-date preparation.
The Facebook-less dating challenge took me out of my comfort zone—first dates are awkward enough even with that false sense of familiarity. But I learned that social media tends to serve as a crutch and keeps us from actually getting to know someone for who they truly are. More importantly, it might hinder us from showcasing our own true selves because sometimes we unintentionally shape and mold our behavior based on what we believe others want from us. Without the pressure of meeting another person’s expectations, you get to really show what you’re all about.
So I challenge you fellow collegiettes—lay off the social media for just a few weeks. Put the crutch away and get to know someone new—even if it’s yourself.
*Information has been changed