With Halloween just a day away, the College of New Jersey has already experienced a serious case of the “creeps”. Unfortunately, the commonly humorous term has become a scary reality as three alleged sexual assaults were recently committed on and very near campus. The conversation in response to these events has been brief: Alert Messages we receive warn against the circumstances these events took place under, yet do not address the root of the problem. Should we constantly be fearful of assault? Kidnapping? Certainly not. To keep those extreme possibilities in mind is something a mother would suggest to keep her daughter from wearing a certain Halloween costume. There is a much more reasonable awareness to keep in mind, to address a risk which to college students is more familiar and in turn, less recognizable. The best way to avoid the creeps is to simply recall the respect we owe ourselves and each other; make an effort to keep an eye on, and unwanted eyes off, our student body.
Last April a sixty eight year old man costumed as a 90’s Aaron Carter perched on the wall of the Student Center. This should have set alarms off in everyone’s minds; some noticed, most dismissed. I used to look forward to getting the Alert-Text from campus; perhaps there was a flood, blizzard, hurricane, or black bear. This time it was something serious. It was enough to make you pick your head up, make you aware for a day or two. All we could do was move on, and thank Mr. Kadyhrob for dressing as one of the most flamboyantly creepy characters we had ever seen. No one took that man seriously.
Last month a man dressed in a dark hooded sweatshirt lurked near Forcina Hall, and allegedly assaulted a female student as she passed by alone at night. Confusion as to the exact details of the incident prevented further investigation or arrest, and the alert message from campus police was again the extent of the discussion: “…We remind students when traveling at night to travel in groups and stay in well-lit areas.”
Soon afterwards we received the next and final alert. A 19 year old student expecting to be taken to an interview for a position at the Wasabi Wok restaurant got into a car with an Asian male, whom she mistook for a restaurant employee. She was allegedly driven to an off campus location and assaulted. The incident mirrored circumstantially those we have been warned about time and time before; what happens when one gets into a stranger’s car. This familiar nature of the incident seemed to dull the impact. “…We remind students when traveling at night to travel in groups and stay in well-lit areas.”
Though two of these three incidents reported at TCNJ occurred within weeks of each other; the campus is fortunate that these are largely infrequent occurrences. It is difficult to find a personal connection to events which are blatantly out of the ordinary, and so objectively communicated in an email from Campus Police. Students begin to perpetuate an illusion is that a potentially violating situation will present itself in a bold, recognizable way: a sketchy old man, walking alone late at night, or getting into a stranger’s car. Any student with half a brain would report some grandpa sitting on the fountain in a cape, licking a Popsicle. It is this familiarity with risk which sometimes makes us blind to it altogether. Perhaps the following hypothetical is a better example of the risk many students mistake as usual.
This Halloween night I’ll pull into the lot behind Travers and Wolfe to pick up my girlfriend. Upon parking my car, I will be approached by a group of girls dressed as sexy, oh, I don’t know, butterflies. My first instinct will be to do what any self-respecting person would do when approached by such a group; re-quaff my hair and pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. The girls’ clothing is just small enough to cover the necessary areas; their application of material is more clever than sexy. They check their phones and exchange looks of confusion and excitement, all the while wobbling on their heels to my car window. As I roll it down, I hear them ask in near unison, “Are you Dave from Fraternity X?” My first thought is, “Of all the nights to NOT be Dave from Fraternity X, why did I pick THIS one?” My second thought is, “Why are these sexy butterflies in a parking lot at eleven o’clock? Especially in the T-Dubbs parking lot, which with all of its garbage dumpsters, shady exchanges and quesadillas might better be described as a barrio?”
I will inform them that I am not Dave from Fraternity X (though how easily I could be). “Perhaps they can wait elsewhere so as not to overhear the whispers of a quesadilla trade, or be ogled at by unwanted eyes”. They will laugh and then continue their parking lot search for Dave from Fraternity X.
There is no definite answer as to why behavior likes which seem so common-sensibly reckless, would be so common place; however, we’ve all seen it. Perhaps the best explanation is that, “Its College”.
I don’t by any means desire the complete abolishment of sexy costumes; this is what makes any college party, so…college. I also don’t claim not to let a sexy butterfly catch my eye every now and again. Girls want to look good and guys want to look at them; such is life. However, having a younger sister in college, and a conscience slightly greater than my libido, I am saddened when I see these sexy butterflies shivering, waiting to be picked up by someone they don’t know. I speak of what I know; my freshman year I dressed up as a Hooters girl and froze my fake-breasts off doing the same. I could not have felt more violated. When you’re half naked in a Utopian parking lot, you have nothing to worry about. But when you’re doing it most anywhere else (say, Ewing) you’re going to give yourself the creeps.
There is a compromise needed on the part of men and women; respect ones’ self and expect others to do the same. I can’t imagine more simple or poignant advice, yet you will never find it in an alert from Campus Police.
This Halloween night, we are sure to see more of the same. Anyone with the audacity to dress up as Tony Kadyhrob or a Chinese Delivery Man will justifiably be beaten beyond recognition, but the real issue of the student body will remain un-addressed. The parking lots will be lined with sexy butterflies, until each and every driver who expects to pick up a sexy butterfly has done so.
The cliché “creeper” is the least of our worries; the disguise is so run-out, the situation so recognizable, that it does not stand a chance; we are too smart for that. The more present risk we must outsmart is that which we perpetuate ourselves. The unwanted eyes on our student body may simply be those that wait for when we fail to keep an eye on each other. There’s plenty of scary stuff out there; try not to give yourself the creeps. Happy Halloween.