Name: Ryan Becker
Major: Management
Age: 20
Hometown: West Hartford
Pets: One dog
What is your favorite thing about Stetson?
Sitting at the chairs by the quad every Monday at 5:20, watching all the young gentleman sway in their hammocks.
What made you want to come here?
I didn’t get into FSU.
How would you describe the girls at Stetson?
Three words: Hot, Hot, Hot!
Biggest pet peeve in a girl?
When her index toe is longer than the rest and curves over the edge of her sandal. Yuck!
Describe your perfect girl.
Average sized toes.
Who is your celeb crush?
Hugh Hefner.
Describe your perfect date.
I pick her up on my Razor scooter and scoot to epic theaters. I arrive free of perspiration, still smelling fresh, similar to spring mint. I hand my scooter to the valet and tip him generously so my date knows I am well off. As we take our box seats at Machete Kills, murmurs spread through the crowd: “Is that Bradley Cooper?”. I humbly dismiss the rumors and affirm to my date, that despite my devilishly good looks, she is the only one on my mind this evening. As the lights dim, I strategically align the hole that I cut into the bottom of the popcorn. Later, we scooter down to New Smyrna to enjoy a short walk along the pier. As the sun begins to rise, I turn to her and say “Lets make this fleeeting moment last forever…”
What has been your favorite thing about being in a frat?
Close proximity to Tops China.
What is your favorite drink at the bar?
Shirley Temple.
What would be your last meal?
Megan Fox’s bacon in the morning.
If you could be anywhere in the world, where would you be?
In your loving embrace.
How do you plan on leaving your mark at Stetson?
I peed in the pool.