Warning: the following question may shock and offend, but wait, hear me out, you might find yourself saying ‘yes’. Are you fed up with The Lizard? I know, I know, blasphemy, right? But give me just a minute, I think I may have a better alternative to being trampled by rowdy, intoxicated rugby boys every other night (as appealing as that does sound). The themed party. Ok, so it’s not the most revolutionary of ideas, but trust me, they can make a sweaty night at The Lizard even less desirable than it is already starting to seem.
For those observant ones of you out there you may have realised that there is only one club in St. Andrews (if it even merits such a prestigious title). A shocking perception, I know, but never fear, the trusty themed party is here to save you. Now, beware, we don’t want anything straight out of Bridget Jones, so no Vicars and Tarts please, keep it original. So far the St. Andrews themed party scene is doing pretty well for itself, this year has already seen a nice amount of not only impressively imaginative, but also, in absence of the Lizard scene, sufficiently rowdy, themed events.
In celebration of Super Mario’s 20th birthday, South Street welcomed the likes of Toad, Donkey Kong and dear old Mario himself for a night of booming music and dancing on sofas with an appropriately themed Mario bash. Another joyous occasion was the release of the Chilean Miners, and, smeared in what I can only assume what was supposed to be coal, rather than random streaks of black eyeliner, and with trusty head torches strapped on, the St Andrews partiers celebrated in (somewhat grubby) style.
Now for those people lucky enough to have secured a flat for next year, the prospect of throwing actual parties, as opposed to attempting pale imitations swiftly closed down by the wardens, is looking more and more inviting. It may be a good six months away, but already on the cards are a Notorious party and a Handcuff party (at least in our house anyway). It may sound like it’s directly out of a Rihanna video, but don’t worry, no whips and chains here, instead, on arrival you’ll be handcuffed to someone of the other sex for the night, have a bottle of alcohol between you and will have to do everything together. And yes, I mean everything (bathroom and all). Could make for an entertaining night, don’t you think?
So next time you’re stumbling to the Lizard and you see two people playing lacrosse on the street with a water balloon, dressed accordingly for their Mathletes vs Athletes party, stop for a minute and think; do you really want to be impaled on some drunk girl’s stiletto and be leered at by the transvestite DJ in the Liz or would you rather be jumping around with your friends to your favourite new song, with the bonus of actually being able to move and not even having to pay? Ok so that was a rhetorical question, but I was just trying to make you see the error of your ways, ok? But before you leave me to go and start planning your next theme let me leave you with three bits of advice for a winner of a house party: get a good playlist going (some true sofa-dance-worthy tunes and no annoying Spotify adverts please), a sufficient amount of booze to keep the troops happy and please, please, keep it original.