Last week, Dave Hon wrote a column for News-Press Now titled “Why I’ll never date a feminist”. Responses from all corners of the internet have been less than kind, from Mary Sue’s parody to Chelsea Christene’s open letter and other equally scathing responses.
My first reaction to the column was one of the utter disbelief. How was it possible in 2016 for someone to say that they disagree that the wage gap between men and women in the workplace is a problem? How do these people go through life willfully ignoring the problems of a large majority of the population around them just because it paints their gender in a less than positive light? Multiple studies have shown the wage gap is indeed no myth, but another pressing problem that more people should be addressing is the disparity between women of different races in regards to the wage gap. While Caucasian women are paid 78 cents for every man’s dollar, the wage gap is exponentially worse for women of color, with African American women paid only 64 cents, and Latinas faring the worst at 56 cents to a dollar, losing almost half their pay compared to that of white men. Issues such as this demonstrate the importance of practicing intersectional feminism rather than the “one-size-fits-all” slogan of White Feminism. Intersectional feminism allows us to recognize the multiple platforms on which a person’s social identity is constructed, from race to gender, without excluding one group at the cost of another.
Dave Hon also points out that he disagrees with the fact that there’s “a culture of rape on college campuses.” Notice I used the word fact. Rape culture is in fact extremely present on college campuses, with college authorities often refusing to believe victims of sexual assault or excusing the actions of their rapists. Offenders who are charged often get their already-short sentences reduced, creating the destructive impression that rape isn’t a severe crime. Anyone who doesn’t understand the importance of consent when it comes to sex immediately feeds into rape culture itself, but Hon takes it one step further, painting the need to ask for consent (from both parties) as a burden, with men having to “demand” consent texts before one-night-stand in order to combat feminism’s “hateful culture”, feeding into the terrifying myth that women often lie about rape and sexual assault as a weapon against men. This makes it near-impossible for victims of sexual assault who do speak up to be heard – often their trauma goes unacknowledged or even at times ridiculed, which is why the column’s blasé rejection of rape culture and the importance of consent makes my blood run cold. Ideas such as these go beyond irritating and stupid – they are actively harmful to a large part of society, a harm are only increased by people’s tendency to misuse the term “feminism”, which is why a proper understanding of feminism is essential.
Feminism is not as Dave Hon seems to believe, a battle of the sexes pitting men and women against each other. Feminism is not women wanting to tear men down – it is a fight for equality rather than a so-called “struggle of power”, which is why the assertion that anyone who stands up for their gender’s rights is unjust and “don’t make good partners” leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. Women have more than just a right to strive for equality; they should be supported in their journey for equal rights, even if such a support might be considered an inconvenience that brings political issues “into the bedroom”. No feminist would ever date someone who considers establishing a safe environment for women where their contributions are properly rewarded and recognized rather than ignored, an “inconvenience”. So in that sense, Mr Hon, you’ve been successful in your endeavour – it’s too bad you revealed yourself to be utterly misogynistic, uncomprehending, and condescending in the process.