Dating is a huge part of every collegiette’s college experience. A new environment, new cuties everywhere, and freedom from the reigns of home make college level dating fun and exciting. Unfortunately, most collegiettes will have a potentially violent date experience at least once during their college career.
The Center for Disease Control defines dating violence as “the physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional violence within a dating relationship, as well as stalking.” As of August 2014, the definition has expanded to include harassment over the internet as well. An important thing to remember is that dating violence is not just limited to sexual assault, and sexual assault is not just limited to rape. Sexual harassment also falls under that category, as does any form of unwanted physical contact.
Even though college dating can be a great experience, the wrong comment or gesture can turn an ordinary and fun night into an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation. Here are eight tips to help avoid potentially uncomfortable or unsafe situations.
1. Ask around! Because the AUC is so small, chances are someone you know knows the cutie you’ve been talking to. This is what Morehouse brothers are for, and they can let you know if this new guy is on the up and up.
2. If you do choose to go out with him, make sure you tell your girls where you and your date are going and when you plan to be back.
3. Carry cash with you in case you’re put in a tough situation and you need to get out fast. Also, make sure your phone is charged so you can call a friend or request Uber if you have to.
4. Agree to check in with a friend! When you’re letting your friends know where you’ll be, have one of them call you at a designated time. You can even create a safe word or phrase to use in your conversation in case the date isn’t going well.
5. If you’re going to drink, drink responsibly. Know your limit and be sure that you’re always able to listen to your body and interpret your surroundings.
6. Consider a group date! Chances are he has cute friends or one of your friends is already dating someone. Making it a double or triple date can not only help ease first date nerves, but also keep you safer.
7. Trust your instincts. If something does not feel right, get out of it as quickly as possible. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
8. Remember that you do not owe anyone anything. It does not matter how much was spent on the date, how far he drove, or how much time either party invested. Your body, your choice.
Bottom line, protect yourself and protect your sisters. Spelman puts such an emphasis on creating a sisterly bond, and if one of your sisters tells you about an incident, believe her, and help her contact the appropriate authorities and resources if she wishes to use them.