It’s no secret that SMU is a major party school. It’s easy to feel out of place if the frat house just isn’t your scene, but I want to tell you that you’re not alone. With all the campus chatter about which parties are happening when, and what to wear to ragers, and how drunk certain people got last weekend, you may feel lost. Especially if you’re new here and you haven’t found a group of friends. Hang in there. I promise there is a place for you here, even if your ideal Saturday night is baking cupcakes with a friend and watching rom-coms.
Know that you are perfect the way you are.
Maybe you went to a party and it was too loud and crazy for your taste. Maybe you’re not a fan of the drinking. Or maybe you avoid the scene for a personal reason; whatever the case may be, know that there is nothing wrong with you. You may feel pressured by media or friends or just by our campus culture to go out every weekend. Avoiding the party scene doesn’t make you antisocial and it doesn’t mean you aren’t getting the most out of college. It means that you are pursuing what makes you happy. Yes, college is a time to try new things. But the point of trying new things is to have fun and hopefully find activities that you’ll enjoy doing again. If you know that partying is not something that’s fun for you, especially if you know this from experience, then don’t worry about doing what everyone else is doing. Your time is way too valuable to spend it on anything that doesn’t bring meaning into your life.
Know that you can still have meaningful friendships.
A lot of girls worry that if they don’t go to parties, they won’t make friends. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Instead, you’ll find friends will similar interests as you. Find the people who also want to see a concert, go to a play or stay in and watch movies this weekend. If that’s your jam, then why not establish some connections with people who enjoy those things too? I promise you that you’re not the only person on campus who doesn’t appreciate the party scene- find your people and make some friendships that are built on actual shared interests.
Respect your values.
Here’s where we get into some serious stuff. Some people avoid the party scene because of a conflict of values – if that’s you, stay strong. You may love the idea of going out and meeting people, but respect the law too much to risk being near underage drinking. Or you may be a campus leader who fears those they lead catching them drunk. Or the party scene may conflict with religious values that you deeply care about. In this case, honor your values. If you made a commitment as a campus leader to have a respectable image – uphold that commitment. There are long term impacts to compromising values that you truly believe in. In this case, you may be super tempted to go out for a night and see what all the hype is about. I promise you it’s not worth sacrificing ideals or a reputation that you care for.