We all know the famous saying, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” And it does! Seperation in any relationship for a period of time is healthy because it allows us to miss our significant other and to once again find the source of passion we felt when our relationship was fresh and new. After days, weeks, or months of not seeing that one you love most, it is the best feeling and the greatest reward to once again be able to embrace them and be overcome with the feeling of love. Getting to that reward, however, is the greatest challenge.
No one ever said that battling the distance was easy; in fact, it is one of the most challenging tests a couple may ever encounter. Long distance picks out the weak from the strong and is a huge indicator of how long and far your love can survive. Every day presents new challenges and every day you are going to miss your partner; that is inevitable. Especially for us college students, we are faced with unavoidable temptations, stress, school work, and busy schedules that keep us from enjoying the relationship we are in. Not every relationship is the same, of course, but they all deal with similar problems and challenges. If you and your partner abide by the two key factors needed to maintain your relationship while in college, you will be able to survive the distance.
The first main piece of any relationship is communication. And in a long distance relationship, it is doubley as important. Because of the fact that those who are in long distance relationships don’t get to see each other every day, being able to talk to their significant other is the only way of feeling connected on a day to day basis. As I mentioned, every relationship is different, and therefore, the amount of time during the day which you talk to your partner should be agreed upon by you and your partner. There are some girls (such as myself) who like that constant daily communication with their significant other. And with the technology we have today, talking with your boyfriend isn’t difficult. Of course the most accessible form of communication today is text messaging. It is quick, it is fast, and you can even send fun and adorable emogis to get your point across and be flirty and cute. While texting is great during the day, however, there is a lot which can be missed. You can’t hear the love or sincerity in your partner’s voice through a text, and that is why phone calls are so important. Try setting a certain time every night or every other night with your man when you can have a conversation on the phone. Better yet, use the advantage of Skype and Facetime to be able to see your partner while you talk with them; it makes the moment much more special and makes not seeing them in person just a little bit easier.
The second key fact in being in a long distance relationship is trust. This trust needs to come from both parties. Particularly being in the college environment which we are in, trust is a must in keeping a healthy relationship. Going hand in hand with that trust is loyalty. College girls go to parties, we wear the sexy, revealing clothing, and there are temptations everywhere. And being in this kind of environment probably makes your guy uncomfortable just as much as him in that environment could make you uneasy. The best way to deal with this aspect of distance is to just come right out and be honest! Set boundaries. Tell him what makes you uncomfortable and ask him the same. You will never know unless you ask and it is much more beneficial to find out this way than be put in a situation where you don’t know how he would feel. Talk about issues such as going out and dancing and what is accetable and what isn’t. There will probably be things which you both agree on and disagree on, but that’s why you talk it out. But also don’t become controlling and don’t let him control you. There are things which you may disagree on in which one of you may feel the other is being a bit overbearing. If it is ridiculous, tell him why you feel that way and find a common ground where you can either meet in the middle, or fix the problem. And if you are the one being too controlling, take a step back and look at the situation from his perspective. Trust and loyalty go hand in hand and they are vital in dealing with a long distance relationship.
Long distance relationships are managable, but they definetly require a lot of patience, a lot of work, and a lot of time. There needs to be a healthy amount of communication and both trust and loyalty in order to survive each day apart from your loved one. But in the end, seeing that person you love makes the challenges and hardships of distance all worth it.