I’m sure we’re all well aware of the green-eyed monster called Jealousy. If you haven’t met him by now, I’m sure you will at some point in the future. He makes his presence known through that pang you get in your stomach when something really irks you. One of the most common encounters with the little guy is within a romantic relationship. I can almost guarantee that you will come face-to-face with Jealousy at least once in your relationship and that is totally justified. However, if you’re not careful, he can really tear things apart. So here are six ways to deal with the little nuisance…
1. Recognize the signs of Jealousy
Often times we don’t actually know we’re feeling jealous, or are too annoyed to admit it. Are you making passive-aggressive comments or starting little arguments? Are you feeling sick to your stomach? Maybe you’re just keeping to yourself more than usual? These are all potential signs of jealousy that are not going to fade away until you confront them.
2. Assess the situation
Why are you feeling jealous? What was it that your partner did to make you feel this way? Was it purposeful or by accident? On a scale from 1-10, how anxious are you feeling? Getting a better sense of what and why something is bothering you is a great start in taking control of the situation.
3. Look at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective
Gazing through the lenses of a neutral party is a perfect way to determine if you’re thinking rationally or letting your emotions get the best of you. The last thing you want to do is freak out for no reason. How would a stranger react to your situation? Would they be taken aback or would they think what happened is totally normal? Sometimes distancing yourself from the problem is exactly what you need.
4. Evaluate your relationship
Think about your partner and how they interact with you. Are they respectful and trustworthy? Has something happened recently to question what you have? If your relationship is built on a solid foundation and they’ve never given you a reason to second-guess them, then chances are you have nothing to worry about. That’s not to say your feelings aren’t valid, but maybe that temper tantrum just isn’t justifiable.
5. TALK ABOUT IT
I know. I know. We all hate being vulnerable. It totally sucks to lay all your nervous feelings out before the person you’re so fond of. But trust me, if they truly care about you, they’ll be more than willing to listen. Be calm and take a deep breath. Let your partner know the little green-eyed monster has visited you. Tell them why you’re feeling the way you are. Listen to what they have to say. Now, this is important, find a way to make the situation better. Maybe that’s avoiding the hurtful behavior altogether. If the situation is inevitable, maybe you need a little reminder of how much your partner loves you. If the situation has erupted into flames, is your relationship even worth it? You need to remember, they wouldn’t be in the relationship if they didn’t want to be with you.
6. Learn from your experience
This step is pretty straightforward. Take note of what went well and what could have gone better. Is your relationship stronger now that you’ve confronted your feelings? Was your relationship just not meant to be?
These are all things that you need to remember when the little monster pays you a visit next.