Growing up, if you asked any one of my friends about me, I guarantee the word “shy” would get used at least once. As a kid, I was never very talkative. I was a quiet bookworm who generally kept to herself in a crowd. Yes, I had friends, but most of the time I preferred to spend my time after school at home doing my own thing. I liked movies, books, watching YouTube videos, and writing, and I had no problem with that. I was fine with seeing my friends at school and being by myself at home. It was my “me” time. And I loved my life like that.
Now, before you start judging me, keep reading.
I was not some loner kid who was weird, and no one wanted to hangout with me. I had friends. I swear. I just never felt the need to be the centre of attention, or attract any attention at all, really. I was not the person longing to be popular or to be well-known in school. I was, and still am, very content with my life the way it is. I see the people I want to see when I want to and I spend time with my own thoughts when I need to. But, with me being a quiet person, there comes a negative connotation of being scared to socialize. Fearing interaction. Being shy. And when people think you’re shy, they try to do everything in their power to get you “out of your shell”.
Being introverted and being shy are two very different things.
Being introverted basically means that you get your energy from being alone. It does not mean you don’t like people, it does not mean you’re scared to talk to people, and I don’t need to be pushed to talk to people. In fact, I love people. I love meeting new people, I love socializing, I love making new friendships and connecting with new people. It’s just that I can only do so much of it. Drop me in a conference and I will network all night with the best of ‘em, but ask me to go out and do it again the next day, good luck. Being introverted means that too much socializing drains you and you need some time to yourself to recharge your batteries. And, I like those days too.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being shy. Talking to people can be intimidating and everyone gets nervous and anxious sometimes. But being shy is different from being quiet. It is not the same as being reserved and it is definitely not the same as being an introvert. As a society, we favour the extrovert. So, no one really knows about us quiet gals in the corner playing with the dog at the party. But, that’s okay. Just don’t assume we don’t want to talk to you or we’re too scared to. We like people; we just like our alone time, too.
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