Starting college is frightening to say the least. New people. New classes. New experiences. It all can seem like almost too much. One minute you are studying in your dorm room alone, and the next you are in the middle of a house party with drinking and guys, who are definitely willing to take advantage of you. You might meet a boy in class, or in your normal poetry club. But, on campus things tend to happen fast, and words travel. If you have someone back home, make sure they are who you want, and do not waste your time stuck in the past.
It’s not in his eyes.
Sure, they may seem like the truth, especially when you stare into them when you are lonely. They seem like safety and certainty, until they stare into someone else’s the same way. Eyes might be the windows to the soul in literary terms, but in real life they can be used for deception and manipulation. Be careful with beautiful eyes, they can be the most dangerous weapon.
It’s not when he says he loves you.
Talk is cheap. People can say anything, regardless of whether or not they mean it. When he says he loves you, does his voice shake? Does he look nervous or at home? Or does he say it empty? Like it is the one phrase that can get him what he wants? And when does he say it? There is a big difference between a man who says he loves you when you are stressed or upset, compared to a man who says he loves you when he wants sex. And even if he does not say he loves you, does he show you love? Real love. The kind that spurs adventures and friendships, not just kisses.
It’s when he says your name.
Maybe it’s your full name, or your nickname. It’s when he says those few words and sends chills down your spine and into your heart. It’s when he calls you a “nerd” and it makes you feel better. It’s when hearing him shout after you down the sidewalk or hearing him say “Hi darling” over the phone makes your day. It doesn’t matter when he says it, but how it is his voice saying it.
It’s when you can’t imagine being with anyone else.
Honestly, relationships can be overrated. They can be a lot of work just to end up being a distraction to your studies and a mistake in the long run. But if he’s the one, you will find a way to make it work. If it is long distance, you will get to him. You will FaceTime, take bus after bus, or drive all the way across the country just to see that person smile. If he’s on campus, you will have cute coffee dates or even study together before that big test you are so worried about. If he is the one, no article or Facebook quiz will have to tell you. If he is the one, you will see his face in your head every time you think about doing something stupid. If he is the one, you are one very lucky person. When you know, you know.